Monday, March 15, 2010

Chief of The Complaints Dept

My sincere apologies to all my ex-bosses.

Since I've always been the hot-headed rebel who riles the rest of the minions into mutiny, I guess God - and the my ex-bosses - have found the perfect way to punish me by placing me in the very unusual position of authority. What sweet irony.

You wouldn't know from looking at it but bosses are a very stressed lot. That cushioned swivel chair in the corner office comes with a helluva lot of unseen crap. From balancing budgets to choosing minions for promotion, from office extensions to interdepartmental squabbles.

And unlike most, I don't get paid a cent extra. Trust me.

Chief Shepherd
Fuck. Is that another complaint?

Oh yeah we also operate the complaints department. Especially those that come from other departments. Despite what you'd expect from medical dramas such as House MD and Grey's Anatomy, the practice of medicine is extraodinarily diverse including disciplines as varied as paediatrics, surgery and radiology.

Unlike what you'd expect, most of the different disciplines in a hospital are run like separate lil kingdoms. All with their very own unique language, culture and perspective in life - which obviously leads to the occasional conflict. From the Orthopods name-calling the uro-surgeons Plumbers to the surgeons bitching about the lard-assed anaesthestists. With border skirmishes erupting every once in a while in such a tense environment, it takes a lot of diplomacy and tact to keep the peace.

Something I'm still learning, even with the wolves from other departments continuously baying at the doors.

Wolf : I have a complaint about your medical officers.
Paul : Oh?
Wolf : Lately they seem to be getting increasingly nasty. Even heard them come close to raising their voices at my doctors.
Paul : You're talking about the big hulking boys in your department getting harangued by the little girls in mine?
Wolf : Yes. Terrible bitchy behaviour.
Paul : And that's not due to your inefficient, mentally deficient baboon-like subordinates? he ones who wouldn't be able to recognize an asystole even if the ECG clocked them on their prehistoric cavemen heads?

Of course I didn't reply as such. Big words would have confused him.

Swore to myself that I'd always protect my subordinates if possible but I didn't think beaning him with my stapler would help. Instead I just nodded and told him I'd look into it. Suitably diplomatic, don't you think?

Odd complaint though. Certain personality types tend to drift towards certain disciplines hence the different stereotypes. Just amazed to find that it's the first time he's bumped into a quietly sardonic anaesthetist! Hell, aren't anaesthetists known for their wickedly sarcastic tongues?

For those who are wondering what anaesthetists do. :)


Janvier said...

Got a little motto, always sees me through
When you're good to Mama, Mama's good to you...

Protect your boys!

Booker said...

Song is so funny :D

And congrats on your promotion!

Emilies of your own to protect... nice!


haha, i think nobody can fight with u ~ u so FIERCE~ :P

btw, any complain about male doc/nurse getting molest? :P

Anonymous said...

The guy in the clip is a newly qualified anaesthetist by the way.You should try the other stuff that he sings. Seriusly funny.I would add throwing "words of encouragement" ( read insults!) to help move the case along as part of our job though!

Life for Beginners said...

I like a man who protects his boys. Respect!

savante said...

Hey that song is so familiar! Chicago, janvier?

Wish I had some hunky Emmetts instead, booker :P

Hardly any, L!

He is an anaesthetist! Kewlness. Actually thought he was from some other specialty, anon.

His girls, you mean :) It's all XX here except for me, life.