Sunday, March 21, 2010

The Pearl ( Necklace ) of the Orient

I don't really know what the furore about Penang becoming a gay sex hub is all about!

Has the crime rate in the state dropped so low that the bored coppers have started to harass helpless uncles in gay saunas? Obviously robbers, murderers and pirates have run so scant on the island that they need to round up gay boys instead to fulfil their daily crime quota. A fact that has the boys in blue getting a little peeved as the supposedly tolerant local government has closed an eye to such illicit activities.

Penang RAWKs?

I say bravo to the local council. As long as the folks pay taxes without endangering any of the other citizens - or break any sensible laws ( puritanical laws don't apply ), I don't see why the local council should even bat an eyelash. Clever of them. Doesn't anyone else see that it's a clever ploy by the local government to improve the island? Seriously, let me tell you why turning Penang into the Gay Discoball of the Orient would help boost the coffers of the state.

1) Boosting the local economy

The Pink Dollar of course.

Yes, business folks all over the civilized western world have already submitted to the almighty strength of the pink dollar. Without children to hamper their purchasing power, gay couples seem to have walletfuls of chump change to spare. Surely enough disposable income to lavish on mindless consumer products from pricey pincushions to shiny iPhones. Stereotypical but true - and something my fabulously spending friends can certainly attest to. No doubt gay boys are just behind the avaricious tweens in discovering new trends to drive the local economy.

Simple. Promote the island as an Asian gay mecca to rival Bangkok and Taipei. Then open the doors and the gay boys will come shopping. Who wins in this scenario? Definitely the local businesses.

2) Gay gentrification

Aged Penangites frequently reminisce about the glorious heyday of the island with a few new gripes about lacklustre attempts to polish the gleam on the faded pearl. Well, the gay boys not only polish, they'd probably make the proverbial pearl shine. Ever seen a drab, dingy basement given the Queer Eye? Just imagine an entire inner-city neighbourhood undergoing a gay gentrification.

Let the gay boys out and given time, the entire sadly decaying city centre of Georgetown would probably undergo a renaissance it hasn't seen since Francis Light dropped in. Seriously. Crumbling store fronts overgrown with weeds and roof tiles caving down? No way would a gay boy allow that. By hook or by crook - or by judicious DIY, the place would come out far more fabulous than it ever was, leading to rapidly rising rents and property values.

All of which contributes to the coffers of the state. With the prudish religious conservatives beating their heads in the corner, I would say it's a win-win situation. Now you see why the local councils are keeping mum?


Life for Beginners said...

The Pink Dollar. Well, I think they appreciate it... they just don't want to be seen openly appreciating it. Hmm.

Little Dove said...

I would vote for you if you run in the elections.

Evann said...

"Unhealthy culture"?!! Oh I don't even want to get started on how would one justify on what's healthy and what's not. His remarks really sum up his standard of intelligence (...just below where he pees out of)

Mr.D said...

i second little dove's comment. time to join DAP. hahaha


tats why penang become so dull when i go back :(

Gratitude said...

The owners were probably too "kiam siap". Pay more, and the uniformed-idiots will leave them in peace.

quicksilverlining said...

if you ask me, the country isn't gay enough. the average homo leaves places a little cleaner than it was.

Matt. K. said...

I know this is rather shameless but does anyone have the slightest idea where all these 'exclusive' places are? I'm a penangite and yet, I've never encountered them before, let alone hear about their existence... till now of course.

My interest is piqued.