Out of Your League

Back in high school we had a social hierarchy of sorts with the various cliques placed on different levels from the jocks to the geeks. Fortunately in a traditional Asian society, being sports-crazy isn't lauded as much as being academically inclined - so the bookish valedictorians share quite as much prestige as the football heroes.

Leaving the under-performing outcasts in the cold.

Back then the boundaries were pretty clear. You were either in. Or out. Acknowledging the presence of the Other was alright but fraternizing with the enemy was a strict no-no. Definitely no dating someone out of your league.

Of course those lines tend to get pretty blurred as we approach adulthood. What we all perceived as social status tends to change as we get older. Things change as the geeky outcast turns into a dot-com multimillionaire while the athletic jock hocks pirated dvds at the night market.

At least that's what I thought.


Shall we admit this sad simpleton into our exalted ranks?
Seems social hierarchies still exist in the gay world. Or at least that's what Kimchi Ken insists. Seems this fellow has set his eyes on someone far out of his league. Someone he claims to be part of the much-celebrated Gay A-Listers - the local underground Gay Mafia if you will.

Ken : I am dating someone way out of my league.
Paul : He's an alien?
Ken : He's an A-Lister! He has such glamorous celebrity friends. So well-read, so well-travelled, so sophisticated.
Paul : How very nice for them. So?
Ken : He's so high above me!
Paul : Standing on his plaster pedestal? Get a ladder then.

For Kimchi Ken - who seems quite a swell guy - to say such a thing has me wondering. Why the shockingly low self-esteem?

When it comes to social hierarchy, I'm surprisingly democratic. Everyone's equal in my eyes. Datukships, million-dollar handbags and celebrity status don't really impress me much. Especially since most can be bought at the right price. Social status doesn't ensure kindness, generosity or any other virtue. In fact, strutting about claiming superiority only pisses me off.


According to Ken's standards, no doubt I'd be judged way down on the marriage mart. Possibly the bargain basement. Horrific eh? But maybe it's encroaching age / maturity that grants me self-confidence but I've never looked at myself as inferior to anyone. Okay, maybe God. King of Swaziland? Pfft, so what! Even if he comes with a list of titles behind his name, when all is said and done, he's still a man.

Cut him up and he bleeds red, trust me.

But seriously, it doesn't matter how great he is. What's important is whether he is good enough for you.