Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Bastard Brothers

Seriously.

When did all brothers turn into wimps?

On television I mean. Isn't it a formulaic plot point on soap operas ( apart from the weekly trysts, mysterious monthly murders and the occasional amnesia ) that the long-lost brother turns out to be a devastatingly gorgeous fellow with a dark dangerous secret? Virile hunk who emerges suddenly from the rolling waves in a skimpy thong to the astonishment of the rest of the cast as the season cliffhanger?

Hunk : Hello, I'm the new hunk in town.
Paul : Ooh.
Hunk : And I'm your brother.
Paul : WTF!
Hunk : And I shall charm and seduce you into my bed before I reveal the shocking secret to everyone in town - including the heartless parents who abandoned me!
Paul : Fine. What are we waiting for? Let's get on it. Maybe have wild incestuous sex a couple dozen times before you tell them, okay?

Brotherly incest? Eh. Not like I'm gonna get pregnant with inbred monsters.

Hunk
They sure don't make long-lost brothers like they used to!

Now wouldn't that make you tune in?

Obviously that's not how the casting folks over at Gossip Girl and Brothers & Sisters think. Somehow or other they've picked shifty-eyed, pallid, bookish Twilight freaks who hang about in dim bookcafes browsing suspiciously through dusty volumes. And when they're not hatching flimsy plots even the Famous Five could see through, they lurk around aimlessly in the background like shapeless ghosts.

And they want us to maintain interest in these junior Hannibal Lecters?

12 comments:

sue said...

tag!

aiyo, reading what u write here, no wonder my company firewall labeled this as "porno"! *rolls eyes*

Rae P said...

OMG.

didn't know u had that incestuous brother's-sexual fantasy....very kinky xD

i'd soooo tune in to the whole season just to ogle at the thought of 'em ;P

p/s: which one of the Twilight hot boys are u insinuating to be the bookish types? i swear - gay guys and girls only watch the movie to ogle at all the hawt boys.

Legolas said...

So disappointed with how Gossip Girl turned out with the secret brother. But Blair and Chuck were so cute!

Bradley Hyunckel said...

could a gay get a gay brother?if so,i dont wantha turn my brother gay!i want my crush turn gay!!!have the charm?

Janvier said...

Why the twilight vamps?! Why not the Twilight werewolves? Or Vampire Diaries' Ian Somerhalder?

Rae P said...

@janvier>> Ian Somerhalder is sooo not the pallid, bookish type... he's just the 'hot' kinda type.... ;P

MrBunnyBan said...

Famous Five is inferior to the Secret Seven! :P

Kenny Mah said...

Junior Hannibal Lecters? Oh, Gaspard Ulliel. *drools*

(Okay, slightly sidetracked there, heh.)

Medie007 said...

there's always a twist. gossip girl and broters&sisters have enough hot guys and pretty girls to add in more hunky men or er, more prettiER ladies into their cast. maybe that's why there's the whole twist of skinny scrawny nerdy one's in.

Chickalodeon said...

but ed chestwick is just so yummy...

Janvier said...

Famous Five beats Secret Seven!

nase said...

Famous Five just the best, Ban! How was the wkend - cling clang clonk?