That Gay Doctor

So much for trying to keep my cool at work.

An article casually tossed my way this morning already my blood boiling. Just when you think gay tolerance is on the rise, something like this crops up to prove that homophobia is obviously still alive and well. Guess no amount of antibiotics is gonna kill that germ.

The article tells the story of a man who would refuse the treatment of a gay doctor. Here, lemme give you the synopsis of the conversation overheard at the watercooler.

After learning that his colleague had been treated by a lesbian doctor, this man then announced, 'I would never go to a homosexual doctor.' Obviously not content with the silence that greeted his reply, the man proceeded to make two points: First, he clarified and said he wouldn't feel comfortable having a homosexual doctor who was a man, but wouldn't mind a lesbian doctor. He explained that he would constantly think that the doctor would be 'checking out his stuff' for other reasons than to 'turn and cough'. Secondly, he said that he would be afraid of catching 'ya know, gay diseases'.

Seriously. Quite obvious that there's no cure for homophobia.


Can you tell that I'm gay?
But would it contravene my Hippocratic Oath if I were to refuse point-blank to treat this contemptible fellow? There has to be a clause in case of extenuating circumstances. In fact I might feel safer standing several blocks down since the tempting urge to strangle him with my trusty stethoscope might prove irresistible. And then perhaps leave him to the tender mercies of the much less sympathetic gay nurses and attendants.

Look I accept the fact that patients should be thoroughly comfortable with their chosen physicians - for whatever plausible reasons. I've even held my cool when certain religious conservatives insist on allowing only female physicians to examine their guarded womenfolk. Even then they usually accede to our wishes - and a male attending - if none can be found on the premises. At least they can be reasonable.

Which is more than I can say for the nitwitted homophobe above. Can't imagine what I would do if confronted with just such a situation. Talk about seeing red.

Bigot : I don't want no gay doctors.
Paul : And how do you know I'm gay? Why, I could have sworn I left my pink feather boa back home.
Bigot : But you might want to check out my stuff.
Paul : What stuff?
Bigot : This stuff!
Paul : That little thing? Oh please.
Bigot : But I might catch gay diseases.
Paul : Isn't it amazing that an increasing number of women are getting HIV these days? Wonder if gay men are inadvertently fucking them. Oops, I fell into your vagina?

Doubt I'd be able to finish such a gratifying speech since I'd probably have leapt clear across the table to throttle the fella. For times like these, it would be good to have a boyfriend like Peter Brown to do the dirty work.

Still I would like to wish good luck to the fellow. After years of stealthy observation, I've come to realize that a sizeable number of my colleagues are actually gay. Let's not even start counting the nurses :) So if he refuses to be treated by a fucking faggot, I'm afraid there might come a day when he might run out of options. These days, it's quite possible to have the majority of doctors - and attending staff - on duty in a hospital all avowed homosexuals.

So with all card-carrying members of the pink squad about, what will our unfortunate bigot do? Short of a hasty transfer to the nearest medical centre ( with confirmed straight doctors! ), he would be short of options. Self-medication perhaps? Fancy removing that bleeding tumour with a blunt knife and a bottle of rotgut? Perhaps sticker-plaster that fractured femur?