At least that's the initial premise of the Vampire Diaries.
Cue the blood and gore. And the frantically screaming victims.
Victim : OMG. A vampire's chasing me so I might as well run down a dark lonely highway into an ever gloomier cemetery!
Like the terribly forgettable Twilight with the endlessly sappy Edward Cullen, I'm sure the squealing tweens would be busy swooning over the lickable vampire duo, Stefan and Damon. Even their names have a certain exotic panache attached. Giggly sophomores out there would probably write the names of the brothers in blood in their frilly pink diaries.
Yet the only guy I can bother to think about is the ex-boyfriend. The sweet, upstanding boy-next-door type ignominiously dumped by the spunky heroine even before the opening act. I'd date him in a second.
Seriously. Would you dump this!
That angry, brooding antihero vampire sort? Those desperate watching-over-you stalker moves? Seriously, I'd probably need hypnotic compulsion to even consider dating them! As they sulk heroically over dinner while agonizing over their horrible undead lives, I'd probably just feel like driving a stake through them.
Paul : Eeew. You brought me on a date to a damp, foggy cemetery?
Vamp : It's where I live.
Paul : Surely you can afford better. Aren't vamps all freaking rich? Was that a rat crawling across the dusty floor?
Vamp : Why should I bother about such mundane things? I shouldn't indulge myself when fate has turned its back on me! I'm young. I'm hot. I have superpowers. I hate myself!
Paul : Stop whining. Get a fucking undead life.
Unfortunately the ones we see these days are usually straight. Poor girls.
Man-on-man fang action!
But seriously post-Anne Rice, where did sexy homoeroticism go in all these ghoulish tales? Not even a single token gay amongst the entire bloodsucking crew of the Vampire Diaries. Surely some desperate vamp must have feasted on same-sex flesh in a dozen lonely centuries! Do I have to depend solely on the Lair to provide delicious man-on-man fang action?
9 comments:
Vampire Diaries? Oh gosh, what's next - Interview with the Vampire Diarist? :P
they ought to turn Laurel K.Hamilton books into movies, there's plenty of gay action there.
how bout The Lair? A pretty pathetic series, in my opinion.
Don't suppose you have a fetish for hickies?
Is it good or not good? Download worthy or not?
LOLOL the vamp talk made me laugh...haha but i'm still reluctant to jump on vampire story lines, yawns...
the Man-on-man fang action is in the show? thats hot!
Well the lead is actually a diarist, life :) Not a vamp yet though.
Plenty of action in Hamilton's but gay... really, cabbage? Who! Reputedly gay in the past but I don't recall them doing anything wild these days. Well apart from sexy Anita and her men.
Certainly is, JustMe.
I definitely do, queerrant.
You can download for a look, legolas.
Not as bad as it sounds, I swear, Kris. Not too bad. At least I don't mind the heroine.
Only in the Lair, Leon. And I wouldn't recommend it wholeheartedly.
P
damnmit! i love the series man. lol
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