All About the Toe

And crunch. There went the toe.

Those who know the both of us well would have heard of the toe. Specifically Charming Calvin's toe.

Obviously there'll be many twisted versions out there on how the poor fellow broke his toe. From imprudent sex games involving swings and whips to a Rihanna-Chris-Brown domestic abuse case. There's also mention of accidentally falling from ladders while housepainting. If only the story were that simple.


Tale of the Broken Toe!
Permit me to tell you one more version. Imagine a lone wooden pavilion set amongst towering bamboo forests with two masters on the verandah exchanging wuxia secrets.

Calvin : It's against everything I've been taught by our clandestine sect. My old master will never allow me to learn such a heretical martial art.
Paul : That boring old prude won't? Like I give a damn. Here, take my 18-Dragon Subduing Kick.
Calvin : Hmm. Although it's not canonical and possibly a little evil, that was quite an efficient stance.
Paul : Just picked it up meditating up in the cold mountains. A subtle though unorthodox variation of the 9 Ying Mantra.
Calvin : But could you move your foot a little?
Paul : Why? Did I step on your acupressure point?
Calvin : Just a little.
Paul : Well okay.
Calvin : Ouch. My toe. Maybe it's broken.

Alarmingly our fellow seemed to show a delayed response to pain. Possibly learned from his vaunted martial arts master? An obscure secret method of dulling the pain?

Or maybe his internal energy chi has been weakened by the polluted waters of the city? So much so that a simple step injured his toe?

Whatever it was, my Nine Flower Dew pill only served to numb the excruciating agony. Even an exchange of internal energies didn't work. So Calvin had to make the painful journey of a hundred li to seek the help of a Western practitioner of medicine. Only to get five days enforced rest at home.

A simple yet effective prescription that cured his crippled toe almost immediately.