The Beginnings of Ecoterrorism : Plantnapping

Go green.

Well at least that's the usual tagline being touted by the zealous tree-hugging eco-activists! Saw no reason not to heed the environmentalist call especially since I figure every house needs just that touch of green. Even one situated right smack dab in the midst of a lush tropical rainforest.

Even with leafy plants growing wildly amuck all around us, the nurseries here don't seem to be charging less for what I could probably pluck from the neighbouring jungle. Running short of funds after a thorough refurbishment of the dilapidated interiors ( not to mention the leaky waterworks ), I knew I needed to find a far more economical method of obtaining quality flora.

Either beg, borrow or steal.

So I resorted to the first with my erstwhile mother-in-law, the solemn Madame Borgia. Unsure of her reception - knowing she's not exactly fond of the fact that I'm corrupting her baby boy - so I approached her nervously with my thoroughly green request. Hailing from hardy farmer stock with a hereditary green thumb ( though it skipped a generation with Calvin ), she surprised me by sympathizing with my sadly plantless situation and immediately offered an olive branch. Figuratively.

And literally too if you count the bouquet of leaves she handed me.

Supposedly to stab randomly onto the fertile ground praying hard that it would take root.

Of course such surprising beneficence from Madame Borgia makes me exceedingly wary. Burdock root? Poison ivy? Utterly disbelieving, Charming Calvin half suspects that the proffered plants may be poisonous and has adjured me to keep it at least 10 metres away. Doubting his cagey mother's intent, I don't disagree - and so the shady ( and highly suspect! ) plants have been exiled to the farthest perimetre of the yard. Beware evil trespassers for Borgia plants lie await.


Hunting for greens.
Even with the spray she'd given me, still left me with plenty of room for other flora. Doubt there's a suitable lending library for plants in these parts - so I decided to get inventive. Always a dangerous idea for a morally ambiguous soul such as me.

Combined both borrow and steal for the last so I plantnapped.

Or at least I liberated captured flora - suffering under the care of feckless caretakers - for the betterment of all.

Pertinent details of the dastardly deed left out since I could be held liable for such a petty crime. Left a note so they would know of the loan - since borrowers can get such a lousy deal these days :) So in the dark of night, I stealthily crept in, picked a pot and made a quick getaway. All very cloak and dagger.

And hey, presto, I have some pretty potted plants at home.