Sunday, April 26, 2009

The Partition

Broken hearts aren't the only casualties suffering after a break-up.

Who else gets hurt in the process? The innocent bystanders otherwise known as friends.

In the inevitable fallout of an explosive separation, friends are usually torn between two ex-lovers as well - with the dangerous demarcation lines clearly drawn on the sand leaving them stranded on either side depending on their intimacy level, prior affiliation and the events leading to the break-up. With the emotional wounds suffered on both sides, it's always difficult to share in the beginning. During the process of returning shared clothes, books and toothbrushes, friends are also bartered and exchanged during the peace talks.

Is it really over?

Think partition with the friends forced to make a hasty migration in either direction. Certainly not an easy process.

Fortunately my first break-up didn't pose any such problems since my ISO and I had both left school behind for quite some time. There was a clear delineation between my friends in medical school and his abroad with hardly any intermingling - while there was nothing much to tell our shared schoolmates since they weren't entirely sure of the intimacy of our relationship ( though I bet there were whispers ).

We had it relatively easy that way.

Unlike what my friends have recently gone through. Deciding which side of the partition to remain on can be tricky at best especially when after some time, friendships inevitably start to overlap.

Jane : Wait, she was my friend first. Then I met the boyfriend.
John : But you like the boyfriend more.
Jane : Still she was my friend first. And she was my bridesmaid.
John : But her boyfriend is your accountant. And I play pool with him on Saturdays.
Jane : Damn, hate it when you're right.

Being friends with both equally can be problematic at best - at least in the initial frosty aftermath of a break-up.

Is it any wonder that even the sitcom FRIENDS mentioned this particular quandary with a sequence where they bargained to see who belonged in which camp in the aftermath of a breakup? And that was right before Rachel and Ross started exchanging their shared items.

Of course I never thought to see such a scene played out in real life. But to have two exes ( coincidentally? ) sitting on different tables for different parties in the same restaurant?

Now that's awkward.


Freedom09 said...

seriously, I can feel the frozen air if that happens..... two groups sitting in two tables, in the SAME restaurant... -_-"

foongpc said...

Well, at least they are not sitting at the same table! That would be worse : )

Btw, thanks for dropping by my blog! : )

Jaded_Jeremy said...

Darn right about friends being casualties.

::. Anton ::. said...

Life goes on. The absence of a bitch slapping session wuz commendable. ^_^


Anonymous said...

When friends pick sides, it just about draws the line of where one should stand between the two parties. The fact that the two exes were sitting in the same restaurant at different tables being awkward as you said, already shows that you chose a side.

How is it that friends won't be torn apart if they start picking sides between the exes? Whatever that happened between the exes stays between them, and when friends choose to side one party over the other, it is expected that "awkward" will be all that happens when two exes try to come together amicably at a table with friends.

I just see a table of two exes, and their friends of whom all are just pretending to be friends because we all know that everyone is on someone's side, one or the other.

Queen B said...

we can sooo fabulously see the partition, CLEARLY!!

but who r we to judge and to take side since this was not a business of ours~

nevertheless, we were told how gracious and well-mannered you were at the place mentioned.

we do hope that others would follow your lead because this is what being classy is all about.

p/s: to anonymous above, it seem as if u were at the party! and if you do, dun be such a coward bastard and show your true self when commenting!XOXO

savante said...

Hardly frozen. More awkward, freedom :)

That could have been better, foong!

We've seen it happen, haven't we jeremy?

Doubt it would have come to that, anton. :)

Easier said that done. Being a neutral Switzerland without choosing sides isn't possible in a restaurant unless we shift tables, anon.

You were there, B? Must have been late since I didn't catch you.


Anonymous said...

I believe name-calling is hardly worthy of "classy" either, B. Besides, who are you to tell me how I maintain my anonymity when you yourself remain pretentiously anonymous? Hypocrisy is more like it.

Silly Little Prince said...

dear anonymous; how do you choose sides when you weren't invited to A's party? while the B did? plus A knew very well where B's party was going to be held yet, serendipitously... A's party was organized there... and to begin with it wasn't even their bday party. oh and A gave B's mutual friend a really really ugly birthday card... -.- how despicable.

savante said...

Whoa guys!

Queen B said...

what in the name of fabulousity is going on here?

we are fabulously confused!! >_<"

Janvier said...

DRAMA lagi.

Medie007 said...


Ban said...

Personally, I would have wanted to attend both parties but I wasn't invited to one. :(

Evann said...

If I were one of the exes, I'd walk up to my ex and be friendly. It would either loosen up the tension, or make things worse. But if I don't then the awkwardness would remain throughout dinner. It's a risk I'm willing to take. And hey, my friends would see that I'm taking the breakup well and that I'm not bitter about it! :)

Jerry said...

Act cool and stay cool... May be a hi, or a hand shake for me...
But still 2 ex to be together, isit really "coincidence"