Confessions of A Despot

Every day we find the sly, shady shenanigans perpetrated by our far-from-wily politicians splashed out for all and sundry to see on the front pages of our local dailies. Liberally white-washed and censored no doubt but hey, we can read between the lines. So often in fact that most of us have started to look upon our supposedly elected representatives as nothing more than crooks corrupt with power and greed.

Hardly the awe and respect you'd expect for the public servants ( do they even remember that? ) some of us actually voted into parliament.

How else am I supposed to think when I have a mother of two telling her son not to join politics unless he wants to cheat people of their money! Right there in the waiting room of the hospital.

Seriously. If the nervous politicos want to know what the regular laymen on the ground think, I think that's just about spot on. With the dirty political games raging, I don't think the image of our representatives could really sink any lower. No doubt following the long upheld tradition of cronyism and money politics left by our forefathers.

As much as I'd like to point the finger at the autocratic despots we've had before, sometimes I can't say that I'd blame them. Honestly I doubt I'd do things differently if I were in their distinguished shoes. Hell, I might even be worse.

You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view, until you climb inside of his skin and walk around in it.

Seriously. Politics is dirty business. You want to be clean, go join the clergy. Or an NGO.

You know I worship Macchiavelli's The Prince so you can imagine how I'd be as a ruthless despot. First day in power, I'd clap up all my enemies up in prison. Probably not in one shocking sweep but in slow devastating stages. Everyone has dirty lil secrets behind closed doors and I'd make it my job to find them. From implicating my more dangerous foes in unbecoming political scandals ( and even violent crimes! ) to thrusting them into thankless public duties.


A ruthless business...
Really. Being in charge of roadworks and drainage systems? Some things you're never gonna get it right. Bound to be a bumpy road and a blocked ditch somewhere getting bad press.

Paul : Here, you want a job? Go clean up the alien squatters. Just steamroll them out.
Enemy : What?!
Paul : Damned if you do. Damned if you don't.
Enemy : I'm not doing it.
Paul : Hmm. You know I heard your son is in trouble abroad. Some problem in school? Dealing drugs? Enterprising.
Enemy : Where are the damned squatters?

And then to consolidate my power, I'd pepper the important ministries and governmental agencies with my trusted henchmen. Desperate pawns I'd already have plenty of dirt about so I can squeeze them for a lil buck or two. Maybe even a million.

Hello. I didn't spend the rallies shaking hands with blithering idiots and kissing babies for nothing.

It won't all be for personal gain of course! I'd build schools and hospitals, bridges and highways - all for the sake of the people ( to much publicity and fanfare! ) but you'd be sure I'd pocket a few bucks from every lil tollbooth I put up. Daddy's got that lil hideaway mansion ( and an expensive mistress ) to pay for after all.

Monstrous, I know. Reason I'm staying far away from such political fields. No doubt in a past life as a maniacal despot, I must have tortured too many enemies, raped too many virgins and razed too many villages! So I must obviously repent in this life by slaving away for the greater good :)

At least I know my faults. Now, if only the bad politicians would own up for themselves! Where do we find an Atticus Finch!