Monday, May 18, 2015

Bear With?

Like I said last week, our Grizzlylocks has quite a few friends. Make that a literal pack. Not that it bothers me like it does Diffident David who finds himself irrationally jealous at times - though he might not care to admit it. The problem for us comes with trying to decide who actually knows.

When we first met Grizzlylocks some time ago, his irrepressible flamboyance pinged even our rusty gay-dars. Only the ever-present beard left us in slight doubt of his homosexuality though all that was all put firmly to rest when we heard Grizz attempt a reasonable impression of gay icon Judy Garland with her now infamous Trolley Song.

Clang clang clang went our gaydar indeed. Since that particular discovery, Grizz has lost no time in emphasizing his pronounced gayness, ringing out with merry showtunes and enthusiastically tapdancing at almost every opportunity. Letting his freak flag fly as it were.

However what might seem patently obvious to us is often quite downright murky to some. In fact according to a mightily insistent Grizz, most of his friends are still in the dark about his sexuality. Which is all fine by us since coming out is totally a personal decision.

Only thing is it's really hard to keep track of who knows.

And who doesn't.

Paul : Wait, lemme look at the list again.
Kat : So we think Jeremy knows.
Paul : But his wife doesn't. Jake doesn't know either.
Kat : Neither does Joe. 

Especially since Grizz doesn't seem to be hiding in the closet in the least. Talk of hot boys and gay porn randomly pepper his everyday conversation with very little restriction which leaves us all wondering how anyone else could possibly miss the obvious signs. Sometimes we don't know whether to continue with the shockingly eye-opening discussion or help him cover up the obvious cracks in his increasingly opaque closet.

Even his far from circumspect beard finds it hard to keep up!

Friend : Waitaminute, why are you watching gay porn? 
Grizz : Umm...
Paul : He meant lesbian porn of course. 
Friend : Oh. 

Grizz : You must watch Cucumber and Banana!
Friend : Wait, why are you watching a gay-oriented show so enthusiastically? Are you trying to tell us something?
Paul : Well obviously he likes food-themed shows as well. 
Friend : Oh. 

And that's the very least of his Freudian slips. Are we seriously pretending that his bewilderingly oblivious friends don't know at all?

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