Wednesday, July 17, 2013

What Fairytale Princesses Believe

Though the common belief is that fairytales were invented mainly to instill unimpeachable moral values in the impressionable children, I believe it also helped quite a lot in keeping them biddable. Dare to misbehave and you'll be eaten by horrid carnivorous trolls under the bridge. Make noise after bedtime and the monsters under the bed would eat you.

No doubt it also helped stem the otherwise endless stream of enquiries from the ever-inquisitive, apparently inexhaustible children. Sometimes I don't blame their frazzled parents for cooking up inane answers to their impossible questions... all just to shut them up. 

Kid : What is that? What is this? Why is this? Why is that? Who is that? Who is this? 
Father : Everything can be explained by magic. 
Kid : What? Mommy said there's no such thing as magic. 
Father : Well she's wrong. Believe me, it's a thing.

Could I just say it would be seriously tragic if you're an impertinent rugrat who doesn't believe in magic!

Paul : What are you doing?
Panacea : I must pour the tea clockwise three times and anti clockwise twice. That's what my governess told me! It would bring me good luck and fortune.
Paul : WTF.

But as usual, things are very, very different over on this side of the Big Puddle. Rather than our disgruntled junior cynics in the city, we have our very own gently reared fairytale princess Pretty Panacea who was cloistered in a secret convent far, far away, constantly sheltered from every necesssary evil that could ever befall her.

Of course being sequestered all alone with the superstitious abbesses also meant being fed some of the most peculiar old wives' tales ever. After all our gullible Panacea would only accept it as the gospel truth!

Panacea : Oh you're eating mee sua!
Paul : Yeah, longevity noodles. It's a Fuzhou thing.
Panacea : Also good for fertility. Keeps the ovaries pumping.
Paul : *choke* 
Panacea : Yeah it must be something in the noodles. Also makes the uterus springy. 
Paul : WTF.
Panacea : Really, that's what my trusted governess told me!
Paul : Good for my ovaries? You mean I could have gotten pregnant all on my own! 

Well who am I to disabuse her of such a fanciful notion. I bet she believes in fairies as well!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...


wah you're still active in blogging..awesome.. :D