Sunday, July 14, 2013

Lights Camera Action

Smile for the camera! 1... 2... 3...

Could any line be more terrifying to me?

Said it before - and I'll say again - I take really awful pictures. Definitely don't photograph well unlike my more photogenic brother - and consequently my niece and nephew - who all have an uncanny mutant ability to predict the presence of an approaching camera lens and to flash a dazzling dimpled smile on cue. Even to mug laughingly for the cameraman.

Me, I usually look unreasonably furious at being caught unawares. Or as my brother says, it's my 'wanna tear the photographer to pieces' look. Well, at least it's not the mulish constipated frown worn by surly male models for their oh-so-painfully-chic glamour shots. Seriously, why are the models perpetually frowning? Genetically gifted with unblemished porcelain skin, impossibly sculpted bodies and effortlessly perfect smiles, do they actually have valid reasons to be at all unhappy?

Umm... hey man, I don't think you're supposed to smile that much. They want us to look angry, ya know!

At least I have a reason to be angry - since none of my pictures actually manage to make me look anything other than a fuming troll. No doubt it would take several magical waves of the Photoshop wand to transform this freak into anything approaching a prince charming.

Unlike the endless waves of unknown pretty boys snapping random pics of themselves on Instagram - and still looking like they just trotted off the covers of the men's magazines.

Dammit.

But this drastically unphotogenic ability of mine obviously came inherited from my camera-imperfect dad. Though he does look pretty nifty in real life, it doesn't show on camera since my dad never ever takes good pictures. Not even when he was in his suave twenties. Like the intimidated fellows caught in the sepia-toned photographs of the early 1900s, my dad usually looks reasonably astonished that such a technological marvel - the camera! - has come to capture his image. Whereas I am the embodiment of fury in my photo gallery, my dad is all pure vague dumbfoundment.

Not exactly the best shot.

Still it hasn't deterred me from getting a cute lil camera for myself.

1 comment:

comengetme said...

so probably you want to share us which photos you are referring to?? hehe