Saturday, July 07, 2012

Beauty in the Beast

Once you think about it, fairy tales aren't all that bad after all. At least the monstrous Beast had the knowledge that he was heartbreakingly beautiful once upon a time - and there was the glimmering hope that with a true love's fleeting kiss, he might as easily regain what was once lost.

Which is more than what I can say for the grotesque Beasts in real life - where even the most potent, magical SKII lotions fail to help them transform into comely prince charmings. Without wicked witches with their powerful brews or plump fairy godmothers with their magical wishes, we're all doomed to remain in our misshapen mortal shells.

Apart from a prodigious spell of plastic surgery.

So yes, being labelled a Beast can be a bit of a hobble for our straight brothers out there in their relentless search for love - but still relatively manageable since the discerning ladies have always had keener sight to see past what lies only skin-deep.

Which is not the case when it comes to the prancing gay princes out there. Turns out there's an unwritten homo rule that says pretty princes shall not date the lowly beasts - and vice versa unless the Beast expeditiously happens to come along with a shiny Ferrari, a swanky Bukit Tunku mansion and that unlimited Platinum card. Happily ever after wouldn't have come along if you imagine the Beauty & the Beast scenario in the shallow, superficial world of shiny gay boys with their gym-toned muscles and perfectly teased hair.

Beast : Can't we be...
Boy : Just because your dad made me come here doesn't mean we are friends okay! I'd rather date the talking mirror. 
Beast : You know that's only your reflection.
Boy : Yeah but it looks way better than you.
Beast : A kiss is all it takes to turn me into a gorgeous hunk! Serious. 
Boy : You gotta be fucking kidding me, right. Move aside, creep.
Beast : I don't have much time left. Can't you just spare me a kiss!
Boy : And get some infectious disease from those monstrous warts? Hell to the no. 
Beast : Pretty please.
Boy : Go guard a bridge, you fucking troll. 

Tale as old as time, our poor gay Beast would never have had a chance.

Dammit you mean father is making me date this freakish troll?

Which is basically what happened to a particularly homely friend of mine who got rejected for being a Beast just last week. Turns out the pretty prince was actually quite a prick. Wounded him enough to leave the poor Beast wandering in a dull disconcerted daze for the next few days.

Reminds me so much of Trendy Trey and the similar rebuff he received years back.

Though I'd be categorized as a Beast myself, I don't find it at all a tragedy. Sure it would be nice to resemble the hot strapping likes of Choi Siwon - but alas I've looked at myself in the mirror often enough to know that ravishing beauty simply isn't on the cards for me, not even with a complete surgical overhaul! Already pretty pleased enough that the unflattering mirror doesn't simply shatter into a million pieces when I scurry by!

But I know my self-worth - fortunately not solely based on the superficial depth of my sadly below-average looks - and that can't be as easily captured by the vagaries of a mere looking glass. My wit, my intelligence, my wickedness, my passions, there's so much more to me than only my vapid reflection - so even without an enchanted mirror, I can see the beauty in the beast.

Hope my friend finally sees that as well.


malimo said...

SK II.... I shall start using it after I tame this pimples, LOL

Chen Xing said...

Sigh, but good look is sort important as it's the first thing people notice about you...


Though me no beast, am one hell of an ugly-duckling.


Leo Nut said...

Being a beast, i shall find my own sexy beast that will keep me happy.

I avoid boys.. Just plain arrogant and fat inflated ego bottled up in a pretty package.. >.<

soul232 said...

SK-II really works eh??I'm short of using sand paper to rub my face, none of the facial product works so far XD

Good look with sucky attitude will always put me off

soul232 said...

SK-II really works eh??I'm short of using sand paper to rub my face, none of the facial product works so far XD

Good look with sucky attitude will always put me off

Tom said...

As an idealist, I've always believed that beauty is skin deep and what matters the most is the heart of a person. But unfortunately, the world is a realistic place and with all the ads featuring what is perceived as beauty, even I too sometimes succumbed to it.

savante said...

Can always try it out, malimo! With the exorbitant prices they are charging, it had better bloody work!

Well it is the first thing noticeable, chen xing - but surely not the basis for a lasting relationship.

:) Take your time seeing them all, leo. Could be a few nice boys who'd catch your eye.

Doesn't hurt to try SK II, soul.... well nothing hurts as much as the wallet.

Hard not to fall into that trap eh, tom. Totally agree though.


A.D. said...

How so true. Its like having beauty without brains or a heart without a soul. Besides, a beast could be more passionate than a charming prince who only thinks with what's between his legs. If you're beautiful inside, it shines on the outside.

Cindyrina (The Princess) said...

first impression is important and when you go deeper...the truth reveal by itself.