Thursday, July 19, 2012

Friendzoned

Come on, is there really such a thing as getting friendzoned?

Recently broken up from a long-term relationship, Mercurial Marshall insists that the sea is only full of friendly fishes, though terribly tempting with very little at all edible to him.

Marshall : Yeah I do find him attractive.
Paul : So what's the problem here? He's hot, he's single, he's available.
Marshall : But he's a friend!
Paul : So friends don't have sex?
Marshall : No!
Paul : You prefer hot sex with an enemy?
Marshall : No!
Paul : So what's the problem here?
Marshall : It would be weird! He's a friend.
Paul : Are you gonna say he's fucking friendzoned?
Marshall : Yes, he's practically my sista.
Paul : So what if I grab you and french-kiss you now?
Marshall : But you're almost like my -
Paul : If you say sista, swear I will punch you.

Pardon me for a moment as I stand at my balcony and scream hysterically. Since not only do I despise the very notion of a friendzone, I also abhor the adoption of feminine nouns to describe platonic gay buddies. Deliciously risque incestuous gay porn aside, is it so very wrong to call these fellows brothers instead?

So what's wrong with a little sex between friends?

But back to being friendzoned - something all my friends insist actually does exist despite the fact that I find it kinda weird. Differing explanations exist of course but basically it refers to a tragically platonic relationship where a man, no matter how buff, attractive or eligible, is seen purely as a friend and not a potential love interest. Essentially typified by the geeky, lovable character of Ross Geller from Friends.

Quite an undesirable situation to be in for any guy, whether gay or straight!

Somehow the idea of sex is never entirely off the table for me. There are some really good friends I've always found sorta hubba hubba attractive - not that anything much ever happened sex wise - so we've all just remained platonically involved as best buds. A little smile, a little flirting, a little sexting but nothing remotely physical. Still doesn't mean I would ever say no if they asked for a quick lay.

Dark room orgy with the lot? I'm so there.

Hormones much :) Yes, I know I'm in the tragic minority here but honestly though, I don't see anything wrong with having friends with benefits. What better way to cement a friendship is there?

7 comments:

Leo Nut said...

Haha! But sometimes it's just weird I guess, the thought of sex with a friend.. Not exactly friendzone when there aren't any love interest what.. So nosexzone? Haha.

savante said...

But I didn't say love, Leo. I said sex! :)

Tempus said...

ugh, sex with a "friend"? still weird. heck I wouldn't be able to imagine that, not that I've actually experienced it before anyway.

friendzoned away from sex, well unless you are that "Free-Spirited", I guess its kinda toned down *still* around our coast.

ooi2009 said...

i assume ur horny now ....never knew doctors can get so horny too...hmmmm...well im horny now toooo

DeluSion said...

Yea, good friends should be able to have good sex.

I-Dont-Want-To-Use-Blogger said...

G'day. New to your blog, but thank you, I love it.

Yes, right around the world men are 'friendzoning' others that they find attractive. It is definitely not an MY/SG initiative. It has been around for decades.

Your puzzlement at this phenomenon matches my own. I have always been more concerned for 'dick', then friendship can follow along without help if such is destined.

I-Dont-Want-To-Use-Blogger said...

G'day. New to your blog, but thank you, I love it.

Yes, right around the world men are 'friendzoning' others that they find attractive. It is definitely not an MY/SG initiative. It has been around for decades.

Your puzzlement at this phenomenon matches my own. I have always been more concerned for 'dick', then friendship can follow along without help if such is destined.