Tuesday, March 26, 2013

The One with No Underwear

Many a time have I written about the fabled merry gay men and their plundered treasure of boundless underwear from glittering thongs to neon boxer briefs. Like the mythical dragons of yore, these avaricious boys hoard skimpy pieces of cotton and spandex, building up staggering mountains of briefs and boxers in their awfully decadent homes only to parade the few for whichever brave hero who dares to enter their domain.

Apparently not what the gay boys here wish for as they lie in their beds at night.

For over here, I have found a man who defies all expectations by wearing nothing on a daily basis. Or at least absolutely nothing between his pants and his skin.

No underwear. Ever.

Paul : Seriously. 
Patrick : No, I don't wear underwear at all. It chafes. 
Paul : Not at all? Never?
Patrick : Why bother anyhow? 
Paul : If you have to ask that... well let me ask you then, why do you wear underwear?
Patrick : For protection?
Paul : From bows and arrows? From kicks and blows? 
Patrick : You mean that's not the reason?
Paul : It's cotton and spandex. Not a metal cup. 
Patrick : Oh. I thought that was the reason.
Paul : No wonder you go commando. Basically underwear protects your outer garments from being soiled. 

Not so prudent after all. Checked to confirm whether he was actually bragging and yeah, the man has zero fear of stains.

Man, underwear is so last century!

Except when our Prudent Patrick visits a massage parlour - which basically defeats the intended purpose. Doesn't it boggle the mind? Freeball all day long but pull on some boxers only to get naked for a massage?


thompsonboy said...

Classy conversation, really.

savante said...

Hahahaha, tb :) What did you expect with someone who goes commando all the time!