Saturday, March 16, 2013

Lesbian Love

Remember the hush-hush highly discreet clan of gay comrades we met for a new year reunion a few weeks back? Cagey, conservative comrades still huddled in their closets wary of the inadvertent exposure?

Well one of them has managed to break away from the unseen crowd to join Fabulous Felix and me for the occasional night on the town. Our Prudent Patrick - who turns out not to be as prudent as we thought. Little knowing that it would probably draw unwanted attention to him since we're both far from tactful.

Coming out of the closet has made Felix and I just a bit careless when it comes to the unintentional reveal. Come to think of it, we seem to have lost most of our prior inhibitions. No need to maintain our voices just that one octave lower. No need to restrain our hands from flailing about fabulously. No need to keep our wandering gazes from blatantly eye-fucking every sculpted hunk that walks by.

No reason to hide being gay.

Two fags and a filly. Nigh impossible?

Something Prudent Patrick finds absolutely astounding. Apparently faced with the harsh, judgemental prudery of a small town, he can't quite fathom how very unabashedly open we are sometimes. In fact he still finds it hard to believe that a reasonably straight person even deigns to live in Netherfield with us.

Patrick : You have another tenant.
Paul : Yes. And it's a girl.
Patrick : She can't be straight.
Paul : As far as we know she is. Unless she's not telling us about some Sapphic experiments in college. 
Patrick : Can't be la! 
Paul : Why? You expect her to charge at us with homophobic pitchforks?
Patrick : No... but surely she's a raging lesbian. 
Paul : We can always ask.
Patrick : Don't you dare. 

According to Patrick's surprisingly narrow world view, straights and gays can't possibly share a house together. Wouldn't a house full of raging gay men be a hideous den of iniquity? Wouldn't the heterosexual turn into a rabid killing homophobe? Ergo the other tenant has to be a lesbian.

For once I was almost speechless.

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