Saturday, February 02, 2013

Fags of a Feather

They do say that discretion is the better part of valour.

Certainly rings true when it comes to the budding homosexual hiding his shameful secret in the deep dark dimensions of the proverbial closet. Sometimes there really is not much room for boundless valour in the restrictive confines of our highly conservative society.

I don't look that obviously gay, do I? 

Which gives rise to an entire battalion of silent gay comrades in the verdant fields of Miri. All highly discreet. All shockingly macho. All surprisingly deep-voiced. All living in fear of the accidental unmasking. Makes a celebratory new year dinner with them fraught with incipient danger as the likelihood of inadvertent exposure increases with intimate association. Fags of a feather and all that.

Paul : Isn't red the prevailing theme for the dinner?
Friend :  That colour's just a bit too daring! Too shocking!
Paul : But gays love themes!
Friend : Don't say gay!
Paul : And red is great! You prefer to blend into the drab nondescript bleh surroundings? 

And that was only the beginning. Basically all the much-touted guidelines for gay men were taboo. V-necks had to be covered up. Speaking with air quotes was out. Hand-waving was a definite no-no.

And God forbid you speak in a high-pitched tenor.

Felix : OMG! That is super fabulous, girlfriend!
Friend : Shh. People might be looking.
Paul : And get my evil stare in return. 
Felix : They'd be frozen dead.
Friend : Just tone it down a little.

Since everyone else was trying their best to butch it up, for once Fabulous Felix and I felt like the gayest, most out advocates in the city. A peculiar feeling since we usually tend to blend into the unassuming crowd without our feather-laden, neon-tinted drag outfits. Contrary fellow that I am, I tend to become even more obviously stereotypically gay when specifically asked not to.

Discretion can be the better part of valour. But I'll admit it can be highly irritating as well. 


Aiden said...

Hahahaha. I was just telling someone about the "guidelines" today trying to describe this bag I had. Haha

Tempus said...

miri can't be THAT small for you both to be THAT outstanding ait?

but melo-ing it down can be lil less stressful on stares at times.

savante said...

Well we tried to conform to as much of the guidelines as we possibly could, aiden!

savante said...

Well it is rather a small town, tempus. Starting to ignore the stares the older I get though.

quicksilverlining said...

i was wondering where you picked up all those closet cases.