Saturday, March 09, 2013

The Oestrogen Effect

Whether true or no, the urban myth goes that the longer women work together in severely confined environments such as prisons and convents, their varying hormonal cycles and thus their monthly menstrual periods will start to synchronize over time.

Sounds pretty accurate at my near all-female workplace. Almost overwhelmingly so, and I would know well since I'm the unlikely recipient of all sorts of inconveivably feminine intelligence regarding menstrual synchrony, brassiere sizes and oral contraceptives. Turns out what the myths never mentioned was that the overdosing oestrogen / progesterone effect at the workplace inevitably starts to mask my presence as a man! Rendering me near invisible to women at large.

Which can be surprisingly informative.

For instance when women band together, they tend to view men as an unseen yet highly potent masculine threat. All men might be brothers but it seems they are all a horrid, monstrous, misogynistic band of brothers to them.

All you men-hating ladies, see I bring you sweet gifts! Not all men are bastards. Really!

Which is how my nurse walked by one day - after we both viewed a highly entertaining though insanely violent domestic altercation between husband and wife - and handed me a note with two words written out clearly and succinctly in Malay.

Lelaki Pendusta

Basically translated from Malay, all men are liars. The pinched look on her face told me she believed that highly biased, misandrist assumption wholeheartedly.

Paul : So all men are liars? 
Nurse : Not you of course.
Paul : You know last I checked I still had a penis. 
Nurse : Not here you don't.

Ouch. Mayhap I should wear a bigger cod-piece as a protest?


matt said...

haha that nurse is funny.. are you invisible, or just adopted?

Janvier said...

Have they started calling you "sister", then?

savante said...

Think they don't even think men exist in their milieu, matt.

Fortunately they already have one of those, janvier!