Sunday, August 19, 2012

The Pecah Tongkang Syndrome

Look, I do know the oft-used stereotype of the flaming, limp-wristed, hissy-fit-throwing gay diva isn't true for all of us. Despite what ultra-conservative narrow-minded bigots might say, homosexual men do come in all shapes and sizes. Yes, even chunky, unfashionable slobs who dare challenge that gay stereotype! A few wily chameleons blend in with the rest of the heterosexual herd so well that it's near impossible to detect even with the keenest hypersenses.

But decry and deny all we want but that particular flaming persona is an infamous stereotype for a reason! Let's face it, quite a number of us fit quite easily into that category, enough to ping even the lamest gay-dar around.

Yet oddly enough these fabulous flamers are usually the ones who vehemently insist that they remain undetected to the rest of the world! It's not the discreet wallflowers who fear an outing - but the wildly flamboyant darlings who maintain that they remain in a glass closet.

Fabulouso : Oh, honey, you can't say such gay things on my column! My friends don't know anything about me! Don't pecah tongkang!
Paul : Oh I'm sorry!
Fabulouso : No worries, sistah. 
Paul : But wait, you mean they don't know you're gay?
Fabulouso : No, I'm terribly discreet. Shh....
Paul : You?! 
Fabulouso : I am not that bad!
Paul : Hardly bad! But your fabulousness translates. Seriously. You're a rainbow-flag waving, disco-dancing Queen Mary floating in a tub of lube. 

So what does the Pecah Tongkang Syndrome above mean? Loosely translated it means shipwreck. Thouh in this context basically it means inadvertently revealing some deep-dark secret, usually an accidental outing.

What do you mean the t-shirt's obvious!

Which I find deeply amusing since ... I mean come on, talk about an open secret!

Once in a while, the more astute manage to out me as the gay fellow in the heterosexual crowd, which is just fine by me. These days I just acknowledge the fact with an easy smile, possibly a shockingly raunchy come-on if the fellow asking is reasonably attractive.

But if I'm obviously recognizable from the teeny tiny gay pin on my shirt, these friends of mine practically carry a glowing neon-pink sign screaming G-A-Y above their heads with heaving thumpa thumpa boombox musical accompaniment. Facebook is filled with pictures of them tossing down pink party shots with similarly scantily-clad men in dark, dingy clubs. Drooling Twitter comments on every cute, hunky boy band member who ever stripped off his shirt.

And let's not forget their uniform of tight NUM tanktops a size too small, pastel shorts and flip flops.   

Seriously, and they think people don't know?

If that little indiscretion is considered Pecah Tongkang.... I'm sorry but that ship has already gone down like the Titanic long before.


Tempus said...

some just wish others translate the "im gay!!!" messages into "im metrosexual" instead.

Vincent~ said...

I guess people still want to feel like they r in control, though its obviously hopeless.

Or mayb his crowd still thinks tat homosexuals are a myth to scare flamboyant boys.

Anonymous said...

It is not so bad if a flaming queen wants to feel he is undetectable. An understandable quirk, I would say, but harmless. Personally I know of a swishy fem-guy whom I know to be positively hetero. What I take umbrage with are the gay guys who're so paranoid or has so much self-hate that they become ultra gay-hating bigots. You can easily recognize them. In a hetero group, they would be the first ones to pass detrimental and derogatory comments on gays. I find these worse than the gay-bashing straight guys.

savante said...

Bet they wish that as well, tempus.

Well he believes that his crowd doesn't know a thing about his glass closet, vincent. Though everyone whispers of course.

That's very true, anon. Homophobic self haters are the worst.