Friday, August 10, 2012

Grind This

Marshall : Well, his opening line was 'Wanna fuck?'
Paul : Nice. I like guys who are straight forward. I hate coy boys.
Marshall : But I don't want sex. Well not yet anyway.
Paul : You do know it's Grindr right. Grindr is all about casual sex. If you tell me you're looking for friends, I'll smack you.
Marshall : But I am!
Marshall : Ow.
Paul : Generally putting up pictures of your sculpted six pack in the shower isn't an invitation to just be friends.
Marshall : But I'm only looking for friends.
Paul : So you'd prefer him to say hi, write a proper introduction and talk about the weather?
Marshall : Yes! Just some idle conversation.
Paul : They already have their dick on display. Trust me, these boys don't actually want to know what you fucking had for dinner.

Not on location-based casual-hookup apps like Grindr or Jack'd, you aren't.

Ever the naive optimist, Mercurial Marshall insists that such gaysocial apps are purely for meeting up with gregarious like-minded persons for hours of platonic Parcheesi fun. Well, that's true only if they have hot, anonymous mind-blowing sex on their minds as well. Otherwise, furtively fingerbrowsing through endless albums featuring sexy half-naked studs cavorting in their skimpy thongs isn't going to score you a steady boyfriend.

Yes, there are nice decent fellows out there as well but it's hard to discuss 18th century English literature when his near-erect penis is outlined on wet cotton briefs right there on his Grindr profile.

Bored with all that chatter. Could we just skip over to the good stuff? 

We're mostly adults here so let's be honest, isn't that the beauty of being gay? That we are all guys and we don't have to hide our almost overwhelming interest in sex? That we don't have to deal with some of the boring dating bullshit our straight brothers have to just to get laid? Rather than sit through a dinner and a movie with all the dull chit chat that engenders, we can just skip straight to the scrumptious dessert of no-strings hookups instead?

That we actually have a social networking app just for sex. All we need to know is the time, date, venue and possibly position.

Trust me, our heterosexual brethren are dead jealous for once. The straight version called Blendr simply can't compare.


Leo Nut said...

Lol.. would you smack me if i told you i am like Marshall looking for friends only?.. >.<

savante said...

On Grindr? Seriously, Leo :)

- a L E x - said...

well initially it's main purpose is to make friends but people abuse it for the wrong reasons @_@

but i guess some people really are just seeking friends? But like yeah, for Marshall, putting those pics ain't a sign of seeking friends xD

Leo Nut said...

Grindr.. Jack'd.. Same thing?.. :P

savante said...

Think the main purpose was for sex, alex :) Then they repurposed it to find friends.

Well almost the same thing, Leo. Just a different crowd.


blue said...

If you would tell me a workable way of knowing real friends in this circle, i would gladly delete these apps from my phone once and for all.