Just two years back, I found myself the lucky recipient of a mysterious bottle of wine festively laid out on my porch with a jaunty red ribbon waiting to be imbibed. Though I viewed the puzzling package with a great deal of misgiving, I finally gave in to my insatiable curiousity ( not to mention a touch of avarice ) and tore the gift open. Since the stray dogs that wandered by didn't keel over dead immediately after a sip, I figured the rest of the bottle should be relatively safe to drink. Till now the inscrutable identity of the generous benefactor remains wholly unknown to me.
Surely Santa would have left a note.
Till debt do us part?
But I let the matter rest - especially since the singular event didn't repeat itself after.
Till today. A sizeable hamper made its way to my workplace addressed to me, laden with peculiar gifts and yes, with a jaunty red ribbon as before. So why are the gifts peculiar? Well, just imagine the perfect gift basket for a baby shower with diapers, baby shampoos and baby bottle liquid cleansers.
Paul : That can't be for me.
Nurse : I signed for it. Your name was clearly written on the form and in full.
Paul : Someone sent me a bag of baby diapers?
Nurse : Trust me, I triple checked. I couldn't believe it myself.
Paul : What the -
Nurse : Are you hiding something - or should I say someone - from us?
Paul : I wish I was.
Nurse : Are you sure? No illegitimate baby?
Paul : Believe me, if there were a baby, I'd be holding it out proudly above Pride Rock amidst tribal drums.
Certainly struck a glimmer of hope in me! Alas much to my eternal disappointment, a brief yet thorough check through the baby-centric contents of the package didn't reveal a squawling infant, recently orphaned, tragically abandoned and armed with a tear-stained letter of recommendation!
The fact that we didn't actually find an unfortunate base-born child of mine tucked into the baby bottles probably won't stop the rampant rumour mill in the hospital from churning out wildly inaccurate tales of my assumed profligacy. Surely I hadn't forgotten some auld acquiantance that I knocked up last new year's?
Could it be a hint of things to come?
5 comments:
Oh dear. Daddy duties beckons in the Dragon Year? :P
that's a very....bizzare gift...
Oh. Someone wants you to marry their daughter? That's my best guess.
Got my fingers crossed, kenny! Who knows the stork might swing by again.
I couldn't believe it myself, ash. Still don't know who sent it.
And they wanted to tempt me with baby shampoo, ban?
P
That Caucasian guy appears a lot in your blog.
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