I Have Confidence

You know the song.

Rebellious novitiate fresh out of the convent needing a confidence boost as she marches out to see the world in the shape of a captain with seven children.


Obviously the rhyming lil ditty managed to hand her the right pep. Really. What's so fearsome about that! Only wish I could inject that same verve into my junior colleague.

Recently transferred over, Nervous Nancy has her flustered moments. Wait, that's not right. Our Nancy has her calm moments. The rest of the time, she's usually scattered, twitchy and jittery. With her nervous qualms, I seriously don't know how she made it out of stressful housemanship without turning quite batty. Don't anxious house officers like that get eaten for breakfast?

Daily work in the wards has become a reality game of watching her teeter back and forth over the edge with nail-biting indecisiveness. Even deciding which ward to begin with has become a momentous judgement fraught with unseen difficulties!

Oh what's the matter with her! Oh I wish she would stop all her doubts and her worries.

Paul : What will you do?
Nancy : Umm. I-I don't know. The patient... I'm not sure what...
Paul : You have to make a decision.
Nancy : Umm. Maybe. Possibly. Umm.
Paul : Time's ticking.
Nancy : I just don't know! Umm. Uhh.
Paul : Think!
Nancy: I can't I can't I can't!
Paul : Okay. You gotta take a chill pill.

I was this close to humming the theme song to Jeopardy.


To be or not to be.
That's my indecisiveness talking!
Can't help but feel sorry for the tough love treatment though. But what can I say! Crazy emergency situations ( something we deal with everyday ) need rapid quick-fire responses.

Trying very hard to imagine Nancy leading a resuscitation. And the mind boggles. Does she waver over the selection of drugs as well? Does she stop to ponder over whether to apply the defibrillators? Does she give an instruction only to withdraw several stressful moments later? Do the resourceful nurses take over before Nervous Nancy falls into a nervous breakdown of indecision?

Nervous Nancy claims that she has never been particularly sure of herself. Perhaps I could teach her, she says.

And I find myself staring at her agape. Honestly though, me teach her? I doubt I'm all that confident myself! Hell, timid and shy and scared am I of things beyond my ken! Yet I shrug on a sleek, shiny coat of self-assuredness when I get ready for work. Seriously no helping it. In the dog-eat-dog world of medicine, the nurses, the attendants and my other colleagues sense human weakness - and they will pounce. Hardly any choice but to appear shockingly competent at least.

So I find myself wondering how exactly to teach such a thing! How do you find the courage you left? Perhaps a song and dance? Perhaps dress her up in borrowed curtains with a snazzy flowery bow?

So do we inject confidence intravenously? Or is there a pill?