Monday, December 02, 2013

That Gay Cousin

Quite obvious that I'm an advocate of the 'Born This Way' genetic theory to explain budding homosexuality. Simply put, short of someone with severe sadistic tendencies, why would anyone bother choosing this burdensome problematic path?

Which made me wonder today as I was sifting through my extensive family mail. With more than fifty first cousins at last count - and that's not adding the next generation, wouldn't it be fair to conclude that there would be more than one homosexual in the family? Other than fabulous me I mean. Since most of my fellow peers have dutifully done their familial duty by wedding, bedding and breeding hopefully in that order, I assume the majority would be relentlessly heterosexual.

Thankfully straight but not narrow.

Well all except for one.

Who might not be straight at all. Something I came to realize just today. Younger kid brother of Macho Mike... let's call him Meek Mason. Well he's no longer a kid now, should be all of thirty at last count.

Now you see me, now you don't.

But for some reason I am beginning to think he might be gay. Mason has always been kinda reclusive, keeps to himself and his usually unseen friends. Even seated at the dining table where it turns to din and chaos with my loud, hyperactive relatives squabbling over food, our covert little fellow hardly speaks a word beyond an unassuming grunt. That goes for the Chinese New Year reunion dinner as well where he makes a momentary appearance and then - just blink - and he's gone.

Supposedly out all night with that pack of mystery pals.

Quite a feat to remain undetected in that small town - especially one that includes my passel of frightfully nosy cousins the likes of Lispy Lori and Lanky Lacey. Never been any fair maiden attached to his name as far as they know. Not even the faintest whisper of scandal has ever reached their notice.

Hell, like I said we have a family newsletter / forum on Facebook with everyone included - from my nonagenarian granny to latest infant in the family - and yet he's not a part of it. Or barely makes a peep which is why I don't even recall his existence.


There must be something hiding in his closet. Could be his deviant sexuality. Could be a secret fetish for cross-stitch. Or a real -life corpse.

Either way it has made me maddeningly curious. 


Olivera said...

maybe you should, as his uncle or whatsoever, talk to him or approach him in some sort of unalarming way.
Curiosity will get you nowhere.
If you do not wish to make things awkward, I suggest you should remain curious. lol.

matt said...

he's not that much younger than you--you should make him a new friend!

savante said...

Ask my cousin, olivera? If I manage to catch him alone for Chinese New Year, I probably will broach the subject - see if I can catch him unawares.

Definitely, matt.