Cousins in the Closet

Without consciously realizing it, we actually come out of the closet almost every other day. Hard not to when heterosexuality is considered the norm in most communities. In a conservative asian society, even the word homosexual is still held taboo by many - hush hush - which results in many of our peers remaining hidden in their closets. Out to a select few. Camouflaged to many.

Unlike our western brethren who prefer to live out and proud, the asian boys here prefer to live discreetly avoiding the pink limelight. Some even lead double lives, getting married with wives and children. Why bother rocking the boat they would say. With relentless societal and religious pressures bearing down on them, I can't say that I blame them.

For myself, I've gradually given up on the tiring pretense. Unless you're a fucking nosy bastard, if you care to ask, I usually tell. Reason why I rarely get asked the infamous question during the chinese new year reunion dinner. Most of the older cousins of my generation ( already in our thirties! ) have already guessed, questioned and gotten a definite confirmatory reply from me.

In fact those in the know have already begun pestering me for red packets. For the first time this year I actually obliged a few.

With my older cousins busy discussing Dow Jones and diapers, I joined the rapidly growing rugrats at their dinner table to listen to some salacious teenage gossip. Quite a rambunctious bunch led by a shockingly savvy Lanky Lacey, sister of Lispy Lori. All ribbons, lace and attitude.


Paul : You know?
Lacey : Like duh.
I wasn't disappointed with what I heard. Alas who knew the younger kids would have gotten so smart as well? I never would have thought that the junior high schoolers would have started guessing about moi. Obviously I'm far from being closeted but I'm not exactly sashaying down the lit runway with a glittery feather boa either.

In fact when I made a perfectly innocent remark at the dinner table about her classmate, Lacey turned and gave me a wry, knowing look.

Lacey : Ah, he's just my best friend.
Paul : Sure he doesn't have any interest in you?
Lacey : Seriously doubt it. I'm definitely not his type.
Paul : Guys do change.
Lacey : Not that much. In fact I think he's one of you.
Paul : One of you? Meaning?
Lacey : Well, he's definitely not a ladies' man.
Paul : Oh.
Lacey : Meaning no girls. Nuh uh. No way. Never.
Paul : Huh. Is he cute?

From the mouths of babes. Lanky Lacey is just turned 17 by the way.

So much for keeping it private and confidential.