Nothing says Chinese New Year more than the gleeful handing out of red packets along with inappropriately probing questions on whether that steadfastly single someone's finally tying the knot!
Much to the utmost dread of the gay community here; who mostly deal with such horrific family reunion hurdles with staunch denial, persisting antagonism or perpetual absentia. Some even start making up increasingly preposterous excuses to avoid going home for the reunion.
Obviously I have been on the receiving end of the red packet interrogation this past three decades or so, embarrassingly so I'll admit. Especially when it has become quite apparent that my net worth seriously outweighs the elderly relatives who still dole me out spare change in the red packets. Almost impossible to refuse that wrinkled old aunt who presses that special red packet into your hand with renewed prosperity wishes for the year to come.
Which is why I usually reciprocate by singlehandedly subsidizing the family meals for the next few days. And the occasional pink packets for the really young kids.
But it's the younger cousins, those who are junior to me and already married in the heteronormative fashion, who sometimes irritate me with their assumed smugness.
Cousin : Do better next year yeah.
Paul : Compared to who? You?
Cousin : Well yes! Time to get married like me!
Paul : Please, that wouldn't take much effort. My boyfriend is a worth a dozen of that spoilt little princess you married. That pampered primadonna who currently holds your baby as if she were handling soiled garbage.
Many are the times I've wanted to respond with a scathing rejoinder but for the sake of familial harmony, of course I keep mum. So I satisfy myself with the occasional eye-roll whenever the lil princess acts up in an unseemly fashion. Like when she squeals horrifically over the toddler spitting up on her designer dress. Or falls into a heady swoon from the sultry tropical heat.
Okay, maybe I do snicker a little as well.
And yes, I do feed the baby sticky chocolatey stuff to smear down her dress. Never said I was perfect.
Much to the utmost dread of the gay community here; who mostly deal with such horrific family reunion hurdles with staunch denial, persisting antagonism or perpetual absentia. Some even start making up increasingly preposterous excuses to avoid going home for the reunion.
Obviously I have been on the receiving end of the red packet interrogation this past three decades or so, embarrassingly so I'll admit. Especially when it has become quite apparent that my net worth seriously outweighs the elderly relatives who still dole me out spare change in the red packets. Almost impossible to refuse that wrinkled old aunt who presses that special red packet into your hand with renewed prosperity wishes for the year to come.
Which is why I usually reciprocate by singlehandedly subsidizing the family meals for the next few days. And the occasional pink packets for the really young kids.
 |
| Sorry lil kids but only oranges from Uncle Paul this year. Blame it on the fiscal cliff. |
Cousin : Do better next year yeah.
Paul : Compared to who? You?
Cousin : Well yes! Time to get married like me!
Paul : Please, that wouldn't take much effort. My boyfriend is a worth a dozen of that spoilt little princess you married. That pampered primadonna who currently holds your baby as if she were handling soiled garbage.
Many are the times I've wanted to respond with a scathing rejoinder but for the sake of familial harmony, of course I keep mum. So I satisfy myself with the occasional eye-roll whenever the lil princess acts up in an unseemly fashion. Like when she squeals horrifically over the toddler spitting up on her designer dress. Or falls into a heady swoon from the sultry tropical heat.
Okay, maybe I do snicker a little as well.
And yes, I do feed the baby sticky chocolatey stuff to smear down her dress. Never said I was perfect.
4 comments:
Hahahaha. Looking forward to hear more about your CNY reunion this year (:
Won't get into a crazy quarrel, aiden :P
OMG who?!?! Cracking my head now. Your story don't tally. *scratches head*
Someone not worth mentioning more obviously, anon.
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