Wednesday, January 16, 2013

New Year Predictions

Oftentimes it doesn't actually come true but who can possibly resist listening to the yearly predictions? Based on the ancient Chinese astrological charts, the renowned masters usually come on stage to deliver their scholarly predictions for the different zodiac animals around this time of year. 

Better luck with work and business this year? Guess they should have added the fact that an unbalanced overemphasis on career would probably mean far less time for the home and family.

Which is why I'm not going home for Chinese New Year.

Never thought it would bum me out but it certainly has cast a disconsolate pall on my everyday activities for the past few days. Draping Netherfield in auspicious red banners and lighting up the decorated lanterns just isn't the same now that I know I'll be spending the festival day itself here - all me, myself and I. Possibly weeping as I peel my one and only mandarin orange. Blame damned unceasing work at the hospital and a serious lack of locum tenens to provide cover for me.

Orange for one anyone? 

Marking the first time in my more than three decades of life that I have not successfully returned for the Spring Festival. Curses!

Paul : Dammit, I can't go home for Chinese New Year! *sob*
Calvin : Well I'll be back home anyway. We can see each other.
Paul : But there will be no reunion dinner for me! My Fuzhou red wine chicken! *sob*
Calvin : Can't provide you that but I can offer you some Hakka delights.
Paul : Is that a kinky sex proposition?
Calvin : No. 
Paul : What is it?
Calvin : Why don't you join my family at the reunion table?
Paul : What?!
Calvin : There would be some of my relatives there of course. But not too many, maybe four or five tables.
Paul : What?!

Certainly never saw that coming.

Trust Charming Calvin to come up with the right thing to say as a serious distraction. Me? The controversial persona non grata making a late appearance at his family reunion with fifty of his indignant relatives sitting in judgement? Not to mention his seething mother, the antagonistic Madame Borgia, balefully scrutinizing me from across the table?

Even I couldn't predict what awaits me there.


matt said...

looking forward to hearing how it goes!

savante said...

Ah I do have good news for that, matt. More on that later.

quicksilverlining said...

i still think you should go. just pack antidotes to the more common poisons.