Thursday, December 20, 2012

A Virgin Unspotted

In our increasingly fast-paced world, attention-deficit tweens out there need everything to happen almost instantaneously at their fingertips. Needs to happen yesterday as the slangtionary jargon goes. Not only are comprehensive blogs being relegated to pithy tweets with sentences perfunctorily sliced into abbreviated LOLs and TMIs, even television promos have been disconcertingly reduced to an abrupt three-second flash on the screen.

Hell, we need to get into the action so lightning-fast that even the sober wallflower protagonist loses her ertswhile virginity with an almost stranger barely five minutes into her admittedly awkward debut. Not to say that I wouldn't do the same for the hunky dreamboat she has on top of her but hey, shouldn't we take some things real slow?

So I'm quite pleased to know that one couple has decided to slow things down, almost to a deliberate crawl. Both time-wise - and modesty-wise.

As in back to the Edwardian age slow. With the rage over all things Edwardian these days, you could say that Fabulous Felix has found his very own Downton gentleman in the form of the scrupulous, sober squire Sawyer. Though you wouldn't be able to form such a contrasting conjecture from the exceedingly dashing way Sawyer dresses himself.

Rather than stumble into a torrid one-night-stand as certain impetuous gay men are wont to do, Squire Sawyer has pleaded for a chance to pace their budding relationship, something the more demanding Felix is a little doubtful of but still willing to address for Sawyer's sake. So they have committed themselves to a series of dates, thoroughly dignified assignations in a bid to know one another better.

Just short of a reproachful duenna.

Felix : The tea was absolutely lovely. 
Sawyer : Quite. Nice weather we're having today.  
Felix : A tad chilly though. Would you permit me to hold your hand? 
Sawyer : Surely no one would presume to judge us if the action was solely to keep my hands warm. 
Felix : Quite above reproach I assure you!

{ Felix takes Sawyer's hands in his }

Felix : Why your hands are freezing!
Sawyer : Quite.
Felix : Isn't this just wonderful?
Sawyer : Wait I- I think it's a little too much. So awfully fast of me! Could you give me back my hands?
Felix : Really, my dear? They feel so lovely in mine.
Sawyer : But what would the neighbours think! 

Ooh saucy.

Everything above board with those two I assure you.

Perhaps a quick tumble, my dear?

In fact, if Calvin and I were to play the roles of Matthew and Lady Mary, I guess Felix and Sawyer would be Branson and Lady Sybil brought to life. Yes, the socialist chauffeur and the suffragette socialite who braved the gaping chasm of social class and status just to share a simple embrace. After almost five years. Talk about a slow-burn love affair.

Though I have to say I can't tell exactly who's playing either part. Doubt either could carry the role of a virgin unspotted. :)

Simple dating. When was the last time you heard that happening?


AD said...

I guess dates are fast tracked these days too. Skip the talk and straight to the point.

Ban said...

WHAT. He's been dating someone for 5 years and we don't know about it???

quicksilverlining said...

must say that some progress has been made on that front of late, glacial a pace as it may be.

savante said...

Guess that's why the boys are taking it slow, AD. Wonder if they're dining on slow food too :)

Read it again, ban. Meant Sybil and Branson.

Yes, finally qsl!