Coffee, Currypuff But Not Me

Though it didn't exactly make the popular headlines of our increasingly unpopular mainstream newspapers, it seems that the infamous sodomy court case involving a venerable politician here has come to a close awaiting final verdict. As unlikely as it seems, the arthritic middle-aged politician allegedly forced himself on his much younger, much fitter boy-toy aide. Very telling how poorly perceived our sadly corrupt judicial system has become that everyone on the streets has little doubt that the accused will finally be convicted of the alleged crime, whether or not he actually committed it.

And yet some of the incongruous comments that have cropped up from the victim's testimony still baffles the mind. Apparently after the alleged rape, our victim calmly partook of a meal of curry puffs and coffee with his heartless rapist.

Talk about novel.


Debaucher : Surely you're staying for tea?
Stripling : After you tore my clothes apart and raped me?
Debaucher : There's curry puff.
Stripling : Oh okay.
Far be it for me to comment on such a dastardly act but surely after such a degrading violation, I would have assumed that the injured party would have offered some token of resistance at least! Perhaps some sign of emotional distress; a whimper or a whine. Or at least make a vain attempt to extricate himself from the highly perilous situation. Surely after being so vigorously defiled by the attacker, nothing could possibly compel him to remain at the scene of his depraved molestation!

I would be wrong since apparently a snack is all it takes.

Instead of snatching up his ravaged clothes to flee, from all accounts the much-abused stripling seems to have sat down for a civilized tea with his elderly debaucher. Nothing like a spot of coffee and curry puffs - evidently his secret weakness - to calm the fraught nerves after being peremptorily despoiled.

Stripling : Oh my, what lovely coffee.
Debaucher : Nice aroma. Goes very well with the curry puffs.
Stripling : Perhaps you shouldn't have buggered me that way. Very bad form, I say!
Debaucher : I didn't give you very much choice in the matter.
Stripling : So true. Quite lovely curry puffs though I have to say.
Debaucher : No comparison to your lovely warm buns I'm sure.
Stripling : Please, sir. At least let me finish my coffee before you attempt to ravish me again.

Imagine the untrustworthy debaucher twirling his wicked mustache. Talk about all the elements of really bad gay porn.

Coffee, curry puffs but certainly not me? Rather than insult our collective intelligence so devastatingly, the least he could do was dream up a more credible fairytale!