Sunday, December 04, 2011

The Christmas Grinch

Guess it's that time of year again when Dolores Doolittle, that officious lil admin drone, comes along to irritate us again. Jolt her hair, dye her green and she might pass as the Christmas Grinch. Rather than being nasty, wasty skunk with a soul full of gunk though, she more closely resembles the glorious angel on top of the tree.

And that's far more dangerous since her deceptively sweet looks hide a miserly coal lump of a heart that is two sizes too small.

Though of course she won't ever admit it.

Dolores : Come on, pretty please!
Paul : Being blond and pretty might work on the straight fellows but it doesn't sway me.
Dolores : I'm pouting.
Paul : Try again. Nothing short of broad manly shoulders will work.

Maybe it's the time of year but December always gets me irritated with her shockingly ungenerous nature. Not only referring to her remarkable skinflint ways but also the way she tends to nitpick on others instead.

With her endless oh-so-helpful hints.

Dolores : Oh Jane, the rubbish bin does look a bit full.
Jane : Oh yes.
Dolores : Such a mess!
Jane : Oh yes.
Dolores : Perhaps someone should empty the basket.
Jane : Oh yes.
Dolores : It could attract ants and all sorts of vermin.
Jane : Oh yes.
Dolores : Maybe you could...
Paul : If you find it such a damned nuisance, why not do it yourself?
Dolores : But Jane could...
Paul : Bloody fucking toss the trash yourself if you're so bothered.

Just an example of Dolores at work. If she ever gets married, I can already imagine her endlessly nagging her henpecked husband.

Yes, she nauseates me, Ms Doolittle, with a nauseaus super-naus! Over here we have a term for what she loves to do, which is subtly tai chi-ing the tedious drudgery of work to others more inclined. Otherwise known as work dumping. Like dripping water on stone, it wears away slowly but surely over time.

Of course most of us at work - for example the unflappable Jane - have grown astonishingly inured to her nonsense but when it comes to this time of the year, the relentless stress does get to me. School holidays bring patients galore. So I tend to snap easily.

Good God, maybe I'm the Grinch instead!


thompsonboy said...

Perhaps you are. Time to get on with a ho(e) ho(e) ho(e)?

GVP said...

Ah... how much I hate the oh-so-helpful remarks. In fact, this sort of personality is my pet hate. I totally understand why your nausea.

Somehow, she reminds me of Dolore Umbridge (Harry Potter).

Just wondering, how could you tell your colleagues to back off in a positive way?

ooi2009 said...

i noticed that ur english is so good , my my , a guy like u next to me in bed telling me eroticism in english is such a turn on , haiz

Kenny Mah said...

My best friend does the pouting thing with me too... I keep telling her it doesn't work... :P

savante said...

Only wish I could find a ho ho ho, thompsonboy :) Pretty scarce around these parts.

That's exactly where I got her name, GVP! How to tell them to back off? I'm pretty mean myself! Biting sarcasm works.

No arguments there, ooi. Always found a Brit accent damned sexy myself.

But I bet the Devil pouting would work wonders, kenny? :)