Finding Faults

The first few months into a new relationship is like moving into a new apartment. During those halcyon honeymoon days, everything's still new and wonderful. View from the rose-tinted window's simply awe-inspiring, the timber flooring's just impeccable and the window treatment's almost perfect. Even the squeaky sound made by the door when it creaks shut is a sweet idiosyncrasy.

A year into the relationship, the squeak's getting just a tad irritating but you try to ignore it as best you can. Hell, is there a splinter on the flooring?

Couple years down the road and what was initially adorable has turned grating. There are little cracks in the foundation and that little squeak has grown into a monumental screech that makes your teeth hurt. The view's still pretty good though. So do you call for an immediate reno or sell the entire place?

Candy : He had this irritating laugh. Kinda like a braying donkey.
Paul : You once said it was infectious.
Candy : Like the plague.
Paul : And you're breaking up for that? What about the seven years you guys put into the relationship? The vows you made?
Candy : And what would you expect me to do about it?

For Cheating Candy, that turned out to be the deal-breaker that she couldn't ignore.

Dealing with real estate's so much simpler than dealing with the flaws in a man of course. Industrial sealants can cover the cracks, oil and elbow grease can deal with the squeaking door but what do you do when your man has an irritating trait that drives you insane?


Checking out the foundation!
No one's perfect after all - and with two individuals in a relationship, you have double the faults to deal with. I have my own crazy eccentricities and even Charming Calvin has a couple of quirks that puts a crease between my brows.

Whether to actually tell your partner what drives you insane depends on the dynamics of your relationship. Some salvageable problems you actually can fix with open communication - and for those, we have actually discussed them at due length. I vow to fall asleep before he starts snoring. He vows to tag along wherever I go due to a fear that I might just leave him waiting at a foreign bistro for hours. It's a compromise of sorts - with a few kinks - that we've worked out.

Of course inevitably there are a few hazardous areas that you just don't walk into. Some internal flaws you grit your teeth and accept that it can't be changed since a thorough refurbishment just might bring down the entire relationship. But that's me. I can be zen at times. And I'm helluva good at focusing on the great view and filing away the rest.

What we all have to decide is whether to put up the entire relationship for sale - just because of a crack in the floor. Fortunately for that, we all have friends to talk to. Everyone's living in an imperfect house after all. :)