A Comedy of Manners

Obviously I'd never make a diplomat.

With my forthright in-your-face attitude coupled with a patent dislike for social protocol, no doubt I'd be kicked out of the diplomatic corps. Sure I could put on a phony mask of friendly gregariousness for a while but it wouldn't last for long. Takes but a slight nudge for the mask to crack and fall.

And there I'd be putting snotty society matrons to the blush with my blunt unpolished comments.

But as we creep up higher in the hierarchy of work, we're expected to attend such grand soirees with purported VIPs. Filled to the brim with social protocol, beady-eyed bureaucrats and the usual fawning toadies.

Which irritates me no end.


TIme for another formal do!
So when I had news of fellow compatriots visiting from abroad, the entire crew of sweet-talking bureaucrats came knocking. There goes my simple plan for a quick stroll through the wards with a light luncheon after.

Bureaucrat : We should give them a proper welcome. Red carpet treatment.
Paul : With dancing girls no doubt?
Bureaucrat : Can certainly arrange for that. Probably a kompang troupe to welcome them as they alight from the bus. Then we must arrange the seating for the entire table for lunch.
Paul : No.
Bureaucrat : No?
Paul : It's meant to be informal.
Bureaucrat : Surely some parting souvenirs for the entire visiting team? Bags perhaps?
Paul : Are you sponsoring?
Bureaucrat : But they're VIPs!

Social debutante I'm not.

In a democracy where everyone's created equal, what's a VIP after all?

And please don't say elected officials ( which includes the Prime Minister! ). Kindly recall the fact that they're elected public servants put in place to serve us. Not the other fucking way around. A simple fact that escapes many a Malaysian. Even in post-colonial times, we don't seem to have left our feudalistic heritage behind. And till one of our royal families actually show a touch of noblesse oblige, I don't think they'd qualify.

L:ike I always say, respect is earned.

So short of divine angels descending from up high, I don't think there's a need for overly complex social protocol. After all, weren't rules such as these created to pander to the overweening egos of pompous buffoons - and to provide the fawning bureaucrats with a job?