The Revenge of Mulu

As if I actually needed solid proof to deter me from attempting the ascent of Mulu.

For my fellow countrymen who actually don't know where's Mulu, for shame! FYI, Gunung Mulu National Park is a UNESCO World Heritage Site - not too far away from my current location - that encompasses incredible caves and karst formations in a mountainous equatorial rainforest setting!

That ends my touristy plug.

But I digress. So back to why I won't Mulu. Everyone else here raves about the climb. Oh the lovely views. Oh the amazing scenery. Oh the awe-inspiring caves.

Like that's gonna get me into a pair of hiking boots to risk my life on the karst cliffs. Me, I'd prefer a postcard. Such an adventurous endeavour into the savage wilderness obviously isn't my cup of tea. Short of the mountain peak playing host to a weekend arts & crafts sale with booths manned by shirtless, ripped hunks, I doubt I'd even make an attempt to climb the rock.

Not so for Piratin Patty who has made it her mission to do Mulu.


Patty has of course assured me that the place isn't densely populated with half-naked men. So the chances of me hiking up there are slim to none.
Just last weekend, our intrepid heroine Piratin Patty heroically made her attempt at conquering this monumental boulder. From the tattered bits that crawled back after, I could have sworn she'd left bits and pieces of herself up on the rock. Honestly, you know those slapstick cartoon comedies where the drooling coyote gets smashed, kicked and tossed down a ravine? Then blown up with TNT?

Well she looked a little like that. :)

Paul : OMG. What happened to you? Did you bungee-jump without a rope?
Patty : Mulu happened to me.
Paul : Why are you hobbling? Is that a bandage?
Patty : Beaten by a cliff, besieged by leeches and bombarded by bats.
Paul : Toldja that would happen. Better to stir-fry them with ginger and garlic before it happens.
Patty : Bats taste stringy.
Paul : Did you at least get me a postcard from the top?

Okay, I might have added the bit about the bat attack. Hillbilly Sherpa she is not. Still at least Patty managed the climb. Heard next our daredevil conqueror might try a marathon up Mount Kinabalu.

Even the very thought makes me tired.

Anyone want a well-worn postcard?