Friday, February 06, 2009

The Paul that Could Have Been

We always wonder about that road not taken.

Sometimes when I see an art installation or walk through a design exhibit, I suffer a pang for the childish dreams that I never pursued. Unfortunately my work these days in the hospital doesn't leave much scope for any creativity. Whatever artistic impulses I have these days is channelled purely into my writing - hence my prolificness - and the various inventive death scenarios I've planned for my archfoes.

But perhaps my omniscient mother did something right in nudging me ( otherwise poked, prodded and pushed? ) towards the path of medicine! Certainly wouldn't have turned out the man I am right now if I hadn't seen the suffering of others in far more desperate straits than I - life-changing events that managed to milk that last precious ounce of human kindness in me.

That ounce that would probably have been lost otherwise. :)

So when I start getting maudlin, I have Charming Calvin around to paint a horrific picture of what I could have been if I'd dropped medical school.

Chuck Bass
Chuck through the Looking Glass?

Without the throng of patients to worry about - and only me, myself and I, I might have been a monstrous Miranda Priestly. Pandering to the stereotypical tortured artiste, I would have probably been far more vain, self-absorbed and narcissistic - and way more mean for sure. Not to mention suffering bitterly for the sake of my art while hacking up a lung from all the imbibed cigar smoke.

Though I'd be stick-thin since I don't eat anything and when I feel like I'm about to faint I eat a cube of cheese.

Certainly wouldn't have met the wonderful bunch of people I know now - since I'd have been too mean to befriend anyone. And possibly been murdered long since.

Starting to sound like the road not taken's got a few discernible bumps and potholes as well.

9 comments:

jps said...

Are you still writing stories at all? { have always wondered what you would do to bring "New Year" and your other stories to fullness.

The Vice Buddha said...

hey doc.. :)

I always wondered. being a doc u really dont have a lotta time at your hand. but u never fail to post reglarly. Means that whatever u jot down is pure and straight from the gut.(heart sounds cliche!) Its like core.. uneditred magic.!

And the fact that you cal still write so skillfully is a commendable job.

Priestley or not, you are Paul... and thats just fabulous. :)

Legolas said...

Your bitchiness is just the right level for my liking.

JD Cole said...

i never heard of a male bitch doctor before~ ;P

jase said...

I don't know about you.. but sometimes.. being mean is fun.. I mean I certainly enjoy being mean to my service providers! Giving them the squirmy feelings, the hesitation and the cold sweat! Its like ecstasy! hahah

Mannpriedo d'Saintner said...

The road not taken, having bumps and potholes... now that's the reality, indeed. Anyone cared to repair the road, the abandoned road?

Ardo Wonder said...

Oh we always love you despite your bitchiness that makes you, YOU.

and yes, thank god you wont need to eat a cube of cheese when youre about to faint as the world has enough candidates to perform such admirable behavior.

joshua said...

What's wrong with being MEAN?????

Nothing, when it comes from you, especiallY!

Anonymous said...

Ah! Paul, Seems like the only writing your doing is on this Blog. Have you given up writing your stories. And are you too busy to respond to private emails from old friends. Your friend John in Chicago sends greetings.