Thursday, December 28, 2006

Wailing Women

The one word that would strike fear into any emergency medicine physician's heart would be hysteria.


The very thought of a whole freaking busload of wailing teenage vixens with seemingly improbably disconnected symptoms would drive any doctor screaming - away from them. Unearthly possession would be the common theory of the scared, suspicious layman and frequently local bomohs / shamans would be called in to confer - and possibly read a few Quranic verses over the said hysterical hussy.

As usual with medical science dismissing any supposedly unfounded supernatural correlations ( which I do believe at times ), hysteria would be counted as a sociocultural phenomenon peculiarly associated with local Malaysian culture. Somehow or rather lock up a group of hyperactive girls in a hostel / factory - and somehow the combination of unbearable heat, inescapable tension and sheer mind-blowing estrogen drives them starking mad. Almost akin to amok - where psychotic men race around instantly emptied villages wielding bloodied parangs...

Obviously something Big Bicep Barry isn't used to since he balked when one of his factory maids started screaming away while at work - and while he was in the midst of a meeting with his clients.

Barry : What do I do? Should I get ear muffs?
Paul : Hysterical factory girls? Sounds familiar.
Barry : Really?
Paul : Sit them down. Calm them down. Splash water on them. And if all else fails, slap them around.
Barry : What! I don't think my new clients would enjoy seeing us abuse our staff unnecessarily. Although have to admit the Japanese client seems intrigued.
Paul : Probably taking pics for youtube.

Away from the insanity
Maybe she'll be quiet if I stay outside...

Dealing with a wailing woman in his arms, Barry wasn't amused by the light banter though - but he somehow managed to calm her down without resorting to a display of sheer physical strength. Of course if he'd actually whaled on her, with his arms he'd probably snap her like a dry twig. Not sure exactly how the man managed such a feat calming her down ( offer her a raise and a free meal with him? ) but still he was obviously relieved as hell when it all ended.

Barry : Pent-up stress and repressed emotions? You know what? I could be next. Promise me you won't slap me around.
Paul : Not even a light playful semi-fraternal spanking?
Barry : Very funny.


Jemima said...

I'm not here to wail. ;)
As Barry said & I quote.."Very funny". hehe

Anyway, I’m here to wish you a Happy New Year, Paul.

May 2007 brings us good health, happiness & peace.

Take care always & God Bless.

hrugaar said...

Surprised Barry balked at the prospect of the slap (the girl, not you, paul). I thought the short sharp shock to snap someone out of hysterics was widely known as a remedy. Ah well. I don't suppose the visitors would have minded that much - the one filming for YouTube would no doubt have loved it, heh.

So does Barry's pent-up stress and repressed emotions mean he's on the brink of coming out at long last?

nyonyapenang said...

lucky thing BBB got only one in his arms ler. wonder how he gonna handle with say half a factory floor of hyterical charbors.

here's wishing you a very happy new year. may the best come your way, always! :)

connerkent said...

Barry : Pent-up stress and repressed emotions? You know what? I could be next. Promise me you won't slap me around.

I can't help but smile when I read that. :D Is it me or Barry is just so cute?

Anonymous said...

With people getting hysterical every now and then, perhaps the only way you can heal them is with the help of the "remote control bomoh". =P

Anonymous said...

LOL.... just give them a kiss they'll shut up....

Anonymous said...

Wailing gals eh? I prefer the half naked dude hanging out in the balcony!! :-)

Happy New Year!!

Las montaƱas said...

LOL! those poor guys in emergency medicine. maybe what she wanted was a nice warm body on a nice warm bed.