Wednesday, April 08, 2015

Amuse Bouche

I tend to flirt quite a lot.

Not in the modern interpretation of the word but the more ... antiquated definition of the term where the subtle art of flirtation seemed to be a prerequisite for dinner conversation. Nothing too shockingly vulgar or overly candid but just light, frothy repartees between fresh acquaintances.

Something seriously lacking in our modern days of technological devices and homosocial apps where 'fuck me' is considered the height of communication. Not that I have anything against the sweet brevity of such a blatant come-on but there's such an old-fashioned charm in trading witty, slyly suggestive ripostes that's incredibly arousing.

At least for me.

Which is what we all suggested for Diffident David who has been battling a seemingly inequitable crush on Grizzlylocks or Grizz for short. Short of brazenly coming out to ask the bear for a date - which is something David adamantly rejects even as a desperate last resort, there is little choice but for him to play the coy coquette.

Something he evidently fails terribly in.

Before you claim that I'm awfully judgemental which I undeniably am, witness this conversation that he had while chatting up Grizz who is evidently quite the gourmand.

Grizz : Yes, I have been trying out some new recipes.
David : That's great. 
Grizz : You can always come over to try some out. 
David : You know, cum in dishes is always interesting.
Grizz : What?

*long pause*

David : Umm.. have you tried raw chicken? 
Grizz : What? 

Don't ask me how those topics stumbled out since I have never ever, ever mentioned either of those taboo topics, at least not in a polite conversation. Nor would I ever pass a pointed remark on them especially if I were interested in the fella in question. Seriously once you've broached the topic of palatable cum, there's very little left on the conversational plate to serve.

Except yourself. Since the next logical move after such a flagrantly bold turn would be crossing the momentous threshold of the bedroom.

Kat : Oh dear, you talked about raw chicken? 
Paul : And cum in a dish? 
David : Was that wrong? 

At least that's what I thought. Maybe I am terribly old-fashioned. Obviously our David has far more revolutionary ideas! His only dismal defence was that he thought the general topic of the conversation was food.


zerachiel said...

*epic facepalm*

savante said...

We couldn't believe it either, zerachiel! Didn't even know how to save the conversation after.

zerachiel said...

Believe me, Savante, I know how awkward the situation would've been, since I had experienced it myself. Once upon a time, a baby faced guy decided to say that a quiche isn't "man" enough because it doesn't have "cum" in it, and my reaction was very much similar to Grizz...imagine chatting about food when something totally unexpected comes in...

perhaps Diffident David has some wild dark fantasy on "cum", I mean, ain't all boys have wild fantasies, besides wasn't he the one who sledge hammered his Tenga to destruction, lol...

oh well, whatever it is, Diffident David definitely deserved to be loved like every other soul in this world, let's just hope that beary Grizz falls in love with silly yet soft hearted Diffident David :)