Monday, September 10, 2012

How To Lose Friends & Alienate People

I tend to lose my temper easily. Sometimes takes but a minuscule spark to set off the volatile fuse for the near-catastrophic explosion to follow.

Something most of my friends would be quick to repudiate since I tend to keep my cool around them. When the simmering rage threatens to boil over, I tend to bite my tongue and hold my anger in check lest the devastating blast effects threaten to scorch even the most innocent bystanders within range.

After all since our friends and lovers are those we know best, we tend to know exactly which particular sore spot to singe and scald. And I have always been a keen observer on the search for secret weaknesses.

Which is why I bite my tongue till it bleeds rather than risk the friendship with a searing personal comment that would leave that particular relationship inescapably charred in the resulting ashes. Charming Calvin would probably never guess it but there were times when I'd been left seething impotently after our occasional tiffs. In a deliciously diabolical brain like mine, dozens of viciously cutting replies come to mind but I tend to stalk away rather than give in to that reprehensible impulse.

 Seriously, don't place any dependence on the sadly well-worn adage that words don't hurt as much as sticks and stones. Bruises can heal with time but painful memories remain. Unquestionably I place more value on my friendships than on that one quick - usually sadly unforgivable - snap of heat. Being a friend grants you that little bit of immunity so Calvin doesn't need to purchase that impregnable lava-proof vest just yet.

Now there's a guy with anger management issues.

Unlike my new friends who have nearly come to blows with each other over a bit of miscommunication. And as the argument escalates, the inevitable mudslinging starts as personal grudges and slights come into play. So easy to find that vulnerable chink in the armour when you know each other so intimately.

Haven't they learnt how to bite their own tongues lest they say something irretrievable?

Sigh. They obviously haven't - which has led to a brief fall out amongst the group. A pity when that happens to friends.

Of course that extends only to friends. When it comes to those out of my short list of close confidants, I tend to fall back on my favoured scorched earth policy. :)

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