Thursday, May 24, 2012

MSG

Just like the warrior Achilles had his vulnerable heel, Lady Macbeth had her stained hands and Superman has his radioactive Krytonite, even the seemingly invincible Madame Borgia - that infamous mother-in-law of mine - has a shocking little weakness of her own.

Something almost microscopic, readily available and seemingly negligible. Almost! But just a trace amount is enough for the usually unflappable Madame Borgia to stumble helplessly into mindless hysterics.

And that's monosodium glutamate. Otherwise known as the humble MSG, so very much beloved by thriving Asian restaurants around the globe. Though obviously not on such convivial terms with Madame Borgia, apparently quite the unyielding nemesis since the redoubtable lady shrieks stridently whenever even a hint of MSG makes an appearance. Increasing ... *ahem* maturity has turned our Madame into quite the health-conscious ascetic with a zealous appetite for only the blandest of fine foods plucked from organic farms raised with warm sunshine and tender loving care.

Don't even get me going on Madame Borgia's long-standing though ultimately futile battle with fatty cholesterol-laden pork. Haven't tried it but always wondered whether she'd melt into a screaming puddle if I tossed some MSG at her.


Seriously, when did sandwiches and salads become so damned popular? 


A freakish health-nut obsession that seems to have spread its malicious claws into her susceptible son, Charming Calvin. Lack of a visible partner, a love-hate relationship with his much abused automobile and near financial insolvency has turned him into something of a social recluse of late.

Paul : You're at home?
Calvin : Yes. Taking dinner.
Paul : Not going out for dinner?
Calvin : Cooking at home. Or maybe make a sandwich. 

Paul : Just go tapao from outside.
Calvin : Eating food cooked at home is healthier.
Paul : OMG. I can't believe you just said that!
Calvin : Why?
Paul : You're turning into your mother!


Seriously. Someone get him out of that house and away from the horrifying salad-sandwich combo. 

3 comments:

♔ıǝɹɯɐı♔ said...

Just made my day. Haha. Your mother-in-law is so hilarious XD

rotiboy said...

Haha I try to avoid MSG at all cost too, even for the chips I buy from supermarket.

savante said...

You wouldn't think it if you saw her, iamrei :P

So no instant noodles for you, rotiboy?