The Pemberley Jinx

If you find your relationship has hit a dull hum-drum stretch on the road with very few significant bumps on the road - and you find yourself wanting some excitement, there's no better solution than to get a damned apartment.

Don't think we've had quite as many petty disagreements ever since Charming Calvin signed the deal on Pemberley. From the chandelier conflicts to the paint swatch squabbles, we haven't been at such intent cross-purposes... ever. Added to the conflict is the fact that we're separated by a great body of water - the Big Puddle - so our heated conferences are only carried out on the cellphone / internet. Despite what our overenthusiastic providers like to tell ya, they are certainly not the best of solutions for communication.

Just try ordering kitchen cabinets on Skype.


It hasn't made me love him less. Though it has given me a crazed urge to repeatedly kick the solid wooden doors at Pemberley. I assume - or at least I hope - these are the silly little arguments couples have when they finally commit to a relatively hefty piece of real estate. Along with the mounting bills, bills, bills that come with it.

And I haven't even counted the blistering headaches caused by the lackadaisical ( yet shockingly exorbitant ) contractors as yet.

Paul : So you'll be staying at the new apartment after the cabinets are done?
Calvin : I don't think I'll move in till it's finished.
Paul : Finished?
Calvin : After everything is settled. When the last nail is knocked! When the last curtain is hung! When the last pillow is placed!
Paul : I love you but you're nuts. Unless you've hired a wandering witch with a wicked wand, Pemberley is an ongoing decorating process that's gonna take months.
Calvin : Nooooo...
Paul : Why are you in such a rush anyway? Have you joined a competition?

Obviously he still expects instant 24-hour makeovers, no doubt courtesy of the various home improvement challenges on television. Even then they usually manage to finish only one particular room.


Do we blame Nate for this?
Believe me, kids, short of sorcerous intervention, instant home redecorating simply doesn't happen! If you're anything like me, the house would be an ever-changing domestic landscape of pillows, sofas and bric-a-bracs.

Hmm. Then again, maybe I should have painted the walls of Pemberley a different shade of white.