Greeks Bearing Gifts

Ever since a besotted Adam offered Eve the proverbial apple, men have always sought to woo the objects of their affections with material things. From precious firewood and dinosaur meat in our distant caveman past to the more palatable branded goods of today such as Tiffanys and iPhones.

And the lucky damsel thus courted takes it all in her stride, accepting such material gifts as offerings laid on the altar of her divine self.

Despite the violent bra-burnings of women's emancipation in decades past, it's pretty much been the same ever since. Standing at the door of their beloved, Romeos still come laden with gifts of flowers, chocolates and jewellery.

Which does pose a little bit of a quandary for the gay men. Such antiquated roles tend to get a bit blurred when there's two men in the mix. Contrary to popular belief, not all homosexual relationships can be neatly defined as a dominant husband / submissive wife archetype.

Or what I call the flower-and-gardener bit.


Pardon my horticultural reference - but I certainly have no need to be tended like a hothouse flower nor do I want to spend my life as the constant gardener. Though I'm alright with the entire hoe-ing and seeding bit.

But I'll admit there are a few boys who still ascribe to such regressive notions.

Some who literally expect to be showered with gifts during a courtship. A dating rite a friend of mine - let's call him Valorous Vincent - is attempting as he pays his addresses to a certain youthful stripling. Pay seems to be the word here since Vincent forks out credit to purchase shirts, shoes and stereos for his inamorata.

Well, almost everything that a promising young man could want!

Paul : I would have bought him a leash and a leather whip for yourself.
Vincent : Don't think he would appreciate that.
Paul : Why not? He's kinda a pampered pet.

I don't blame Vincent. A man in love does what he can.


Now that's a thanks for ya!
But doesn't his boyish beau feel in the least bit... perturbed by the fact? Doesn't he feel a prick of conscience at the nagging thought that a perfect stranger's literally crowding his doorstep with expensive gifts? Look, tokens and trinkets such as flowers and chocolates I can accept - but when it comes to excessive presents that constitute a significant chunk of the average monthly salary, I think there should be a line drawn.

Especially if you don't intend to say yes to the unspoken question.

Where do you draw the line between gift-giving amongst buds and stringing along a guy for bling? Come on, be a man. Don't accept what you can't return in kind.