Get Your Shirt Off

I like men. Preferably naked.

Obviously.

Even half naked is fine by me. Of course God has seen fit to grant me my wish by transferring me to a special place where the men seem to have no qualms about disrobing. As always though, God has a mighty sense of humour.

So it is true that the strapping fellows here seem to strip off their shirts at the least provocation.

A bit of rain? Might as well get the kit off since it's wet.
A bit of sweat? Might as well get the kit off since it's wet.
A bit of sun? Might as well get the kit off since it's hot.
A bit of haze? Might as well get the kit off to cover the nose.

You get the idea. Just any viable excuse to shuck their shirts. So it's pretty common here to have half-naked men just strolling down the main streets. Even a handful of guys who for some obscure sartorial reason love rolling their shirts halfway up their torsos. Kinda like a makeshift tanktop.

The better to air their rotund beer bellies of course.


Do I really need an excuse to go strip?
Therein lies the problem.

Forget about gorgeous local Chris Evans lookalikes! Far from being drop-dead gorgeous male models, these proud exhibitionists peacocking about town in their Sunday best all have Body Mass Indices on the far side of 30 - with a Body Fat Percentage far too shameful to mention. Chubby overaged uncles all of them. With guts spilling over the side, there's not a single sculpted six-pack in sight.

Seriously, fellas, it's just great that you have a healthy body image! Living it lard and obviously love everything that God gave ya - but will you please cover up goddammit!

So I did get half my wish. A shame the strapping post-teenage boys aren't emulating their dads. Now that's a sight worth praying for.