Saturday, November 10, 2012

That Fairy Godbrother

Despite having a contingent of increasingly grumpy dwarves staging daily insurrections protesting her draconian regime, our fairytale princess seems utterly happily oblivious to her sorry plight at work. For Pretty Panacea, twirling around forest glades with various woodland creatures and singing with winged friends seems to take precedence instead.

Not that I entirely blame her since I can see no other solution than to guillotine the entire band of mutinous dwarves.

To keep her mind away from such petty annoyances, we keep up a regular stream of instant messages, all thanks to her still amiable carrier pigeons. Not directly under her exacting employ, the birds obviously don't see a logical reason for a revolt. Such affectionate missives flying back-and-forth, along with the irregular luncheon, would signal the beginning of something special for a man and a woman.


Fortunately for me, I have left loaded hints aplenty to reassert the fact that I'm far more fairy godbrother to her than charming prince. Perhaps Panacea sees me in the light of a gay Jiminy Cricket perched on her shoulder offering sage advice. Or at least that's what I hoped.

Paul : I'm like the fairy godbrother! Really!
Miranda : Doesn't explain why the princess is busy checking out royal marriage registries.
Paul :  Well she ain't gonna get a happily ever after with me!

Miranda : Better tell her before she buys a pumpkin carriage.

Sweet platonic dreams callously crushed when our colleague Miranda Merry caught wind of our occasionatête-à-tête. Based on her wholly unstable, wildly illogical feminine intuition, Miranda is starting to suspect that Panacea might be a little more ardent than we had both imagined.

Miranda : So a word to the wise, you'd better tell her you're gay before you proceed any further with this cozy relationship.
Paul : Think she already knows. 
Miranda : That's what you think.
Paul : I've told her 'I like men' dozens of times.
Miranda : She thinks you're kidding.
Paul : Why would I joke about being gay? It's not that funny.
Miranda : You make a lot of jokes!
Paul : Ouch.
Miranda : Nevertheless you'd better say something soon.

Does lightning strike twice? Am I leading someone on again? All well and good for my self confidence of course - but hell, why aren't any of the sexy boys coming after me instead? You mean my raging homosexuality isn't wildly apparent to all? C'est impossible! Although I might not be as fabulously swish as the local drag queen but I'm sure my far from discreet pink polka-dot bowtie says it all. Surely I don't have to start walking around introducing myself as the gay fellow.

So how do you broach the subject with a fairytale princess? Do they even have gay princes back in their kingdom?


Cheyne said...

I bet there's gay prince.
Maybe because of the ''old time thinking'' and they could't reveal themselves and married with a girl.

savante said...

Quite a fair amount actually, Cheyenne. Through history books as well. Doubt there arre any in Fairy tales though.