Carol of the Elves

Don't believe the hype that sweet olde Santa sends all his Christmas gifts on the mysterious eve all by his lonesome! Surely you don't believe he has a magical FEDEX - pathways / portals / time machines - stashed up there in the North Pole. What the wily fellow has are indentured elves aplenty.

And I have proof of that.

With carols playing in the background and me caterwauling away, I almost missed the once-in-a-lifetime magical sight. Just as I was driving out of a junction, I saw a white truck literally bedecked with gifts with a tiny little elf hunched at the wheel. Trying his best to remain inconspicuous though failing quite miserably. How could anyone not see his tiny elfin face with the sharp pointed ears surreptitiously hidden beneath a jaunty lil red cap?


Elf : Look! I am a fully grown adult male! Check me out if you don't believe me!
Paul : Don't mind if I do.
And the fact that his truck also had a christmas tree squashed into the back made it all the more obvious. Just short of a red-nosed reindeer to announce his arrival.

Paul : OMG. Is that an elf?
Patty : Sure looks like it. Then again it could have been a kid.
Paul : A kid driving that big truck?
Patty : Happens all the time here. They learn how to drive way before they are eligible for it.
Paul : That would certainly explains the lousy driving.

Well, maybe it wasn't an elf. Fine, it could have been an adolescent child at the wheel as well.

Which would have been much worse than an unlicensed elf from the North Pole. At least presumably the elf would have had centuries of experience with driving on the roads. And let's not forget about the inherent magic.

What amazes me most are lackadaisical parents who allow their unschooled children free rein with their automobiles. A nervous, inexperienced pre-teen holding the wheels of 1500kg worth of mass destruction. Talk about endangering society at large! Certainly reminds me of the other juvenile rebel joyriding on the streets only to be gunned down.

Such unworthy parents should be caught and whipped soundly.


Or perhaps have the bells fall on them to awaken them to the painful responsibilities of parenthood.