Say Hello

You gotta love the man but I'll admit Charming Calvin isn't exactly known for his social graces. Just toss out the Miss Manners Rulebook! The prerequisite introductions are usually dispensed with, RSVPs are misplaced - and I've actually been hoodwinked into inadvertently crashing a dinner party.

Or two.

Especially the legendary soirees organized by his redoubtable mama, Madame Borgia. Somehow or other, I was duped by her heedless son into thinking that I'd been invited to dinner.

Paul : You sure your mother invited me?
Calvin : Well, not in so many words.
Paul : Exactly what kinda words were they?
Calvin : She did say she had a table booked here.
Paul : And?
Calvin : So they are obviously having dinner here at this establishment.
Paul : Which doesn't include me, does it?
Calvin : I'm sure she'd want you here.
Paul : Did she specifically say invite Paul?
Calvin : It's implied.
Paul : Nothing's implicit when it comes to Madame Borgia. This doesn't augur well for me. So I'm effectively crashing her party?
Calvin : Of course she'll want you to be here.
Paul : Yes, she'll be so pleased to see the feckless, free-loading bastard her son's dating.

Refreshingly our sweet, kind Calvin naively assumes that any dinner involving his household would naturally include me.


Mama's expecting us for dinner!
Any remaining doubts I had about whether Madame Borgia had the slightest notion about my presence at one of her dinners disappeared the moment she stalked in. Not the smallest inkling did she have that I still existed, much less that I'd be joining them! No doubt the very thought of delicious pork buns turned to unsavoury ashes in his mama's mouth as she saw me already waiting at the table.

Madame : Why, Paul, what a pleasant surprise.
Paul : It certainly is. You look lovely tonight.
Madame : Fancy seeing you here. Having some friends join you at your table?
Paul : No, this is our dinner table.
Madame : You're joining us? Why that's simply delightful. Calvin never tells me anything.
Paul : At least we have that in common!
Madame : Oh you're always such a jokesmith.

No doubt that's why she kept handing me bones during dinner to choke on. :P