Monday, July 06, 2009

Not So Innocent Me

Innocent I'm definitely not. Just ask anyone.

That list unfortunately includes the local dvd pirateer. Seriously. How do they tell? Do I have a permanently lusty wolfish look on my face?

Just takes me a second to walk into a bootleg dvd den and I'll have the raffish sales fella coming by with a sly look to ask whether I'd want some of the dirtier goods on sale. Now if only he'd clutch his full crotch, clad in disturbingly diry jeans, while he said that.

Maybe I'd be tempted.

DVDs
Imagine him grabbing his crotch!

Usually though all I get is a lascivious wink, a knowing smirk and a teasing flash of the hetero-porn dvds stacked inside his jacket full of heaving bosoms and dripping clit. Seriously. Don't make me hurl. I stayed away from OBGYN because of that.

Obviously that wicked glint in my eye translates across the little pond as well since the local dvd pirateer over here gave me the same lewd come-on. Barely moments after I strode into the bootleg dvd den. Pretty dyed-blond boy here - an exotic mix that I couldn't make out - couldn't have been more than twenty, I bet.

Pirate : Hey man, looking for something special? You want some of the good stuff? I've got a few.
Paul : Sorry. Just looking. Not interested.
Pirate : Really hot wor. Come take a look. Got some local girls too. What are you into?
Paul : Not into girls. Got any hot guys in there?
Pirate : Uhh..

Not sure what possessed me to out myself that way but I expected him to back away in a homophobic huff, possibly flinging the dvds at me while cussing me out in six different local dialects from Melanau to Hakka. Certainly underestimated these boys. Quick as ever, our canny salesperson changed his spiel quickly claiming that the gay dvds were recently out of stock. Mayhap I should drop by in a week or so?

Hmm. Clever. Looks like they'll do anything for a quick buck.

Maybe I will come again. Who knows, I might be able to persuade him to let me clutch his crotch instead.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

do you have facebook dude?

KJSC said...

lol...i did the same thing when i was 18. He asked what you want? I just said, "Do you have gay vcd"?? he just showed me the box and even suggested some for me...ahhh...those were the days of horny pasar malam nights...

ask if i were to do that now? dont think so....as out as i am, i could get it online

MrBunnyBan said...

Business is business! He's just surprised cos you don't look the type.

Sean said...

Hi, how are you? I'm new in this blog but congratulations because it is fantastic.

Ganymede said...

Quick buck or a quick fuck?

Kekekkeke.

V said...

u should gave the guy a wink after the conversation....then, it will be more meaningful! ;P

William said...

Pirates normally stock both, even those at the night market!

Dats said...

lol...thats cute one! way to go!

Anonymous said...

wowww... the courage, i always admire! my fren even dare to go back to the stall scold the seller bcoz he sold him the wrong dvd content tat differ from the cover :P

the viennamese said...

Pornography. Ah, it lies in my distant past. :)

Chris said...

i not that innocent.. :p

Bradley Hyunckel said...

hey u got the guts dude...i really wanna say those to em so that i can get some of that kind stuff...ehem ehem

ever a papasan offered u girls and u ask for hot guy???

savante said...

Sure I do, yik yang!

Could get it online as well, kenny but it's always fun to stump the salesmen.

That's kinda true though, ban. Will walk with a swish next time.

Thanks, Sean!

Really wish it was a quick fuck being offered since I'd take him up on it, queer rant.

It would be scandalous as well, B :) And even if I did, I wouldn't say it here where Calvin might read it!

Oh yes they do, william.

Must have been out of my mind, dats :)

Garang giler kawan you, happy!

Sure it doesn't lie in the now, evann?

Oh yeah? Tell me more, Chris :)

Actually oh yes they have. Got offered special massage by fellas in Bukit Bintang, brad.

P