One of my dearest friends, who shall remain unnamed since she unlike my ISO ( insignificant other ) actually does read blogs and might inadvertently stumble on mine ... let's call her Grace, posed a serious question the other day that shook me to the core. For some time, I have had some small suspicion that her feelings for me have been more than platonic - since for some odd reason, the fact that I'm a raving homosexual seems to have escaped her notice. During one of our biweekly dinners, she asked me what I was looking for in a partner. As usual, I listed them out... a great sense of humour, intelligence, independence, beautiful eyes, a nice ass.... but obviously I left out the fact that I wanted someone with a hairy chest since she immediately asked me why I've never looked at her in that way. She might as well have brought a sledgehammer to my head.
It was at the tip of my tongue to blurt out my secret but the cute waiter walked into view and I was sidetracked by the way his ass filled out his pants. Later, I was left wondering what had gone wrong. Had I repressed myself to such an extent that my pheromones had gone all awry and had started influencing the fairer sex? I'd spend my time trying to catch the eye of the sexy, broad shouldered hunk in tight jeans and I'd get a wink from a foxy lady instead. Years back, she'd see my snazzy clothes, my great hair, my obsession with shopping, the fact that I ogle great looking guys as they walk by - as a huge sign labelling my homosexuality. Nowadays, she'd call me the enlightened metrosexual.
Odd, the problems I get into. Trying to appease her as she got into a litany of the problems faced by the overachieving singleton, I somehow got into a Julia Roberts/Dermot Mulroney pact to get married at the age of 30. Still have two years before that so someone get me out of this please! :)
Someone who isn't gonna be termed a metrosexual has to be our boy Clive here. Someone asked me what he looked like so here's a pic of him... In the movie Closer, he's raw, crude and more than a lil brutish - just the way we likes em.
Since I had all that free time last week, also added two new stories on my website at Bedtime Stories.
10 comments:
Okay...responding to your HARROWING experience...hehehe...I saw a comedy skitz a few days ago on cable about a woman who has no gaydar...I thought it was hilarious...after all...I consider every man as gay unless proven otherwise...
Or is that the other extreme? I just find it fuhnie when straight men try to reiterate that they are straight and then comment on other men's clothing????
Is it okay if I post this comment? You won't get angry??? Sorry if you are...you can flame me...just not too much..heh
Considering every other man gay sounds dangerous :) Might even land you a fist in your face when you least expect it - well, that's what I think which is why I find it so hard to approach some of the guys I like.
Sure, comment away, I love comments!
"...after all...I consider every man as gay unless proven otherwise..."
"Considering every other man gay sounds dangerous :)"
I'm with Zain there, but it doesn't mean you have to act on it Savant.. ;)
Had a similar experience with close girlfrind, but it got me to wonder more about why she didn't pick up me on her gaydar and why she, cute and smart girl, didn't have a bf, even if i, equally cute and smart, didn't..
Well, my gaydar's been ringing all the while as I raed you post, Sven. I think cute and smart's a real commodity so why don't we get together :)
Paul
PS See what I mean about considering every man as gay incredibly dangerous? I can't help hitting on guys!
Thanks Paul, I really owe you one for that pick up, really made me laugh. Ok, so you might want to observe longer before hitting on guys I guess, or maybe the punches you'll get will be outnumbered by lucky strikes? :-)
Since we are on opposit sides of the globe, that is a date that really would need careful planning..
Sven, how did you actually guess? The lucky guesses I get actually does make the punches a lil easier to take.
And don't underestimate my resourcefulness. :) Half a globe's not a big deal for me. I just came back from Stockholm and Helsinki not too long ago.
Paul
Really? What brought you all the way up here? Skiing? ;)
Oh, btw, I could also, technically and legally - though morally dubious - be your father, although that would have been too big a step for me in soo many ways at the age of 16... if you knew me back then you would agree ;)
What brought me up all the way to the Scandinavian countries? Part of it's because my mom was there for a course and I travelled up from Stockholm to meet her in Helsinki. The other part has to do with the hot Swedish guys. What do they feed you cute guys there? :)
Technically be my dad? Well, 16 years isn't that wide a gap. I'm horridly mature for my age.
Paul
They fed us oatmeal poridge, lingonberry jam and whole-milk when I grew up, still the standard diet for breeding cute guys all over Scandinavia and Finland. They also threw us out into the snow everyday at winter. Nothing to define a man as a freezing butt. Americans are on to the secret and have infiltrated our society with all sort of junk food, but they can't find their way out of big cities... Where I come from, Varmland, there are 13 cuties to the dozen, it's a pain to go back there..
So, unless schools stops at the age of 12 where you are, I think you - inlight of you comment about our year difference - can relax about the post-jail bait at the gas station.. that is the kind of guys that know how to handle a screw driver btw.
Please just to satisfy my curiosity, what on earth did your mother have to go to Helsinki to study? Finnish?
Oatmeal poridge, lingonberry jam and whole-milk? No idea what the hell lingonberry jam is but I had a breakfast consisting of oatmeal and milk this morning. Who knows, I might turn into a Swede hunk soon. Of course if I don't, I could easily go catch a cutie in Varmland. 13 in a dozen.. God, what's in the water there!
My mom was in Helsinki for a lecture in English... not Finnish :) What do you do when you're not freezing your butt off in winter?
Don't worry, the kid in the gas station is 19 at the least. Hardly jailbait.
Paul
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