Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Queer Eye for Men

Before you guys panic, I'm not gonna talk about wall stencilling and floor layouts. I just gotta complain about gay men in general, or perhaps myself being extremely picky in general. What can I say, dating hasn't been all wine and roses lately.

Oddly enough, men are like houses actually. No way would I call myself a marvellously appointed formal French Provincial apartment since that would be far from the truth. Let's not get carried away with too much pretension since I'm more the neat, practical IKEA styled suburban home with the occasional odd Asian antiques and stylings.

Unfortunately, most of the guys I meet out there in need of serious renovation both on their exteriors and the interiors. A quick slap of glossy paint and a nicer frontage would have done wonders for some of those sloppy joes but all that doesn't compare with what's hidden inside. Some of those doors should remain locked as they open up to some horrific nightmares that I shudder to think about :)

Of course there are the lovely muscled hunks who are perfect on the outside, beautiful facades but with perfectly empty rooms inside. Boys who think shiny smiles and rock-hard exteriors are all they need to survive. For some reason, gay men have come to the idea that a first date means some nookie on the side. What the hell is up with that? Sex is fine by me and hell, I love it but not straight after the hors'douevres. At least let me refuel before you take off my pants.

But let's not get carried away. Then again, there are guys who are beautiful both inside and out. For me, the outside doesn't have to be perfect, something neat and presentable will do just fine. The rooms inside are perfectly appointed and stylish - and yet I find that I don't see eye to eye with the design. Something just doesn't click for the both of us. It's like meshing modern minimalist zen with grandiose Italian Baroque.

Is something wrong with me or am I way too picky?

7 comments:

Sven said...

Is something wrong with me or am I way too picky?Yupp.. that or confused?

Being way to picky I think is maybe a wrong in it self, so it's difficult to answer your question there.

You are a hell of a writer (/bows), and you also write well. Me being a harsh critic, I must say this post doesn't live up to your writing standards, so it makes me wonder what's up? Maybe too much work and too little play? A date you liked didn't call back? Solitude is growing on you? A variety of regrets? Since you can't punch me, I'm just throwing out ideas here ;)

Aye, the 'cute boy'-syndrome. That's interesting. Doesn't apply only to gays though. Never had to develop a personality or social skills. When they turn into not so cute men, they get this very lost look about them. Don't know if you'v noticed it?

Had to follow the French Procincial link, and started pondering what house I am, but realised it takes a little bit of all (yeah well not quite all..) to satisfy me. As an art and architecture (medievalist) major from university, I found the list of styles quite interesting, and I would dare say, very american. Still interesting though.

To me, as long as the house is warm, homly and inviting, I'm satisfied. From what I'v read, I have a feeling there is more to you than the IKEA facade give away, I would go directly for the hide-aways if I came to visit. After all, you are a scorpio.. ;)
But then again, IKEA has a different connotation over here.

Reading thru this, I'm surprised I didn't say I like the house 'safe' as well.. maybe I'm growing? ;)

Sven said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
savante said...

No problem, Sven. It was an off day. Solitude was growing on me :) Then again, I also had a really great date, met a nice guy but there were no palpable sparks. As I said, two different styles meshing up together and finding nothing in common. Made me wonder what the hell was wrong with me overlooking such a great guy.

You have made me curious as hell... IKEA has a different connotation to you?! What's that? And what's lingonberry jam?

Whoa, who retracted their post?

Paul

Sven said...

Here's on lingonberry jam:
http://www.northerner.com/products/wildfood-sauce-lingoncloudberry.html
They only grow up here in the north I belive.

I retracted the post, long story, but it didn't have any contents (told you, long story..) :)

The IKEA thing is complex. Up here IKEA is something we all love to hate, but we all use it, go there, shop and get frustrated in the shop already, then again when we try to assamble the thing we got and one part is missing (or we don't have the cute tool-guy around - not that I need one..).
Just a quick look around my place, my pc is on a pc-table from IKEA, my couch is from there as well, my bookshelves are too and I have some stools from there right by my side. If you check my kitchen, soo many appliances come from IKEA (I love that part of the store), two more shelves, a mobile set of drawers.. and so on. Bed and duve(spelling?)..
Same in alsmost every swedish home, still we love to bitch about it. Let's just say IKEA is very very swedish, too close to home, and since we have a hereditary collective low self esteem about our country, we have to bitch about IKEA whenever we can. Can you understand that, or am I way out in the blue?
I hate going to IKEA on my own, it's too much of a couples shop, very popular with gay couples as well..

You forgot to say 'thanks' and blush Paul.. ;)

savante said...

Lingonberry jam sounds interesting and I'd be willing to try it sometime.

Actually love going to IKEA. Sure the items are streamlined, neat and almost bland but a lil paint and trim - and you won't believe how jazzed up it can get. I might not be able to handle the heavy tools but I can pretty up furniture in seconds with paint and stencils.

I know what you mean about couples going to IKEA. It's the same here though I have yet to see gay couples there... though I might have missed that with my rusty gaydar.

And Sven, I don't blush and bridle that easily. :)

Paul

Sven said...

Blushing can be soo sexy Paul, so sexy..

Not related to statement above, I blush a lot, so much in fact I've stoped bother with it. Strange thing is I still blush though.

savante said...

Blushing is sexy. Hm.. I see I must learn to cultivate this skill.

Paul