Beijing Part III : Storm the Gates

No matter what I was in my past life whether virgin or whore, I'm pretty certain I wasn't a conscripted Chinese soldier serving in the rugged northern borders. Surely there was no way I could have made it up and down the precipitous stairways and corridors of the ancient Great Wall on a daily basis - at least not without expiring halfway in the safehouse of the mighty watchtower at every turn. Or perhaps unfortunately stumbling down the uneven steps to dash my head on the edge of the wall before I could give warning about the Mongolian invasion.


Fucking exhausting...
As it was, barely made it up the steep forested hills of Mutianyu and if I wasn't dead stubborn, I'd probably be simply dead at the top of the wall. Add my sorely aching feet to my rapidly depleting cardiac function ( and also the sweltering heat ) and it was a deadly combination. Believe me, it's quite an arduous climb and I salute the smiling communist geriatrics skipping along the corridors of the great wall like happy children with red book in hand - no doubt heeding the strident call of the late Chairman Mao.

Still the breath-taking views were worth it. The Great Wall as the demarcation line between the civilized southern regions and the wild barbaric unknown beyond has blurred with the centuries but here and there, you can still see the difference.

Like with every old monument well-trodden by decades of state-sponsored tourism, the Great Wall has hidden quarters scratched with bits of graffiti. Somewhere deep in an isolated watchtower, Charming Calvin and I found the best collection on the wall by the talented Carroll Sisters...

We've done the wall
Now we do the mall

Seriously, I doubt even Chairman Mao could deny the sheer poetry in their pithy verse.

Other than that, it was a dull ( semi-conscious? ) trip back to the city - without even the benefit of a hunky sweaty farmer sowing his oats to enliven the proceedings.

Still more than half a day left so we took a detour to the New Summer Palace. Beautiful scenery. Magnificent architecture. Historical sites.

But there was another hill - Longevity Hill that sat right smack in the centre of the park. No matter which way I turned, it was a terrifying trail going steeply uphill. Really, I started feeling as if I'd accidentally stumbled into one of Jaunty Jared's mountain-climbing / hiking tours. Took half a dozen stops at multiple restful pavilions while endlessly bemoaning the peculiar inclination of the Chinese for climbing up endless steps. Hell, I was made for sedate sedan chair rides not tromping up hills and vales in search of ancient temples.

As if in repayment for my laborious climb, the gods saw fit to reward me with a shopping street at the other side of the hill. Situated along the banks of the Back Lake, the street design imitates the ancient style of shops on the riverbanks of Suzhou - thereby allowing the Emperor and his cloistered concubines to feel as if they were strolling down a commercial street.

No doubt the Carroll Sisters must have shopped here as well.