OMG That's sooo gay!

A show of hands, those of you who have gone around with their trusty gaydar trying to predict with some accuracy which stud actually marches to the same fabulous YMCA beat as we do. Certainly would be a game that most gay men would play on a daily basis - since the uncanny ability to guess a man's sexuality correctly could mean the difference between sex or death.

Since for some boys, celibacy would actually equate to a living death. :)

Not as easy as you'd think picking out the gay bird amongst the venerable flock. These days not all gay men all stereotypically fit into the simplistic cookie-cutter mould of interior designers, hairstylists and dancers. Not all raving faggots are intimate friends of Dorothy, Barbra and the like. Have a friend who couldn't sing a showtune to save his life, I'm sure. Hell, a handful of us even hang out at local blue-collar bars guzzling beer and spitting peanut shells, holding down seemingly macho careers such as plumbers and mechanics.


Can you really tell just by looking at me?
But the numbers are still few - and the majority are shoved so deep in the closet you'd have to crowbar them out.

There are reasons why some stereotypes remain after all. Toss a rock amongst a group of budding designers and you'll still have a higher chance of hitting a gay man. Just like I wouldn't recommend stoning a platoon of army recruits to find out :)

You see I've been trying to ascertain whether one of my colleagues is gay. Yes, I know I'm a fucking first class snoop ( you'll find that most physicians are curious sorts ) but hey that's me, I just gotta know! Most especially since Brash Brandon rings my gaydar almost on a daily basis. I'll admit it doesn't hurt that he's sorta attractive in the arrogant, disdainful Mr-Darcy manner.

Wet blankets would wonder why I don't just ask the question and end my suspense. Well, closeted boys would of course lie like a rug and hell, why would I settle for such a simple solution. Surely amateur sleuths like Frank and Joe Hardy would agree that half the fun is in piecing the clues together.

So exactly what makes a man gay? Easy enough to find out in this modern internet age where most of us have public profiles on display in the open, ready to be searched and dissected for clues.

1) Hobbies and such

Certainly the stereotypical stuff I mentioned. Even favourite authors, books and movies could lend suspicion. Friend of mine quoted Oscar Wilde as a clue :)

A flair for interior decorating, an obsession for Broadway musicals ( possibly the ability to recite by rote every line from Sound of Music ) and let's not forget, the inherent shopaholic gene. Let's face facts, even the most confidently metrosexual guy would have serious qualms about admitting to a weakness for mall-whoring.

Of course this doesn't always tag a man as gay so you need a combination of other factors as well.

2) Galleries

Straight guys do cam-whore as well - vanity certainly isn't the reserve of women these days! - hence the popularity of Guys Gone Wild. But just look at the display profile of the man in question. A preponderance of pictures all on his lonesome - or even more incriminating with a group of cam-whoring bachelors and nary a bachelorette in sight - would definitely raise flags. Hair a little too perfect, shirts two sizes too small, even pants just a lil too tight are another near-certain indication ( though it's getting a lil hard to tell these days :) ).

3) Subscription to Axcest, Fridae and the like

Which would be obvious enough but something else made me sit up and take notice ( with a sly smile ). Suits and Ties which I found linked on my colleague's site. Made my eyes bug out as I wondered why in the world a supposedly straight man would need links to a gay dating site! :O

Hmm... getting curiouser and curiouser.

The game's afoot.