All Sheepish

Poor Scrappy Shep.

As some of you would already know, we had a surprise birthday party for my lil brother, Strapping Shane, who finally became legal. In some states anyway. Although I'm sure he already had some vague idea of what we were planning since we were far from discreet ( and some folks just can't keep a secret! ), he claimed to be utterly shell-shocked by the entire proceedings. Maybe the man actually can be an actor :)

Obliviousness probably one of the reasons Shane dragged his poor biological brother along for the show. Poor Scrappy Shep who sat mouthlessly agog as he stared at the fabulous gay brethren gathered before him, no doubt silently wondering what kinda perverted hell-hole we all crawled out from.


Shep with the motley crew!

Shep : God, make me brave for life; much braver than this!

Not sure what Shane could have been thinking of! Our mindless PG-rated banter ranged from Shane's scandalous penchant for dropping trou ( due to a malfunctioning zipper he claims ) to Jaunty Jared's shocking hunger for man-cream. Even Adik's awe-inspiring hoovering mouth was mentioned. Certainly not suitable for gently-reared innocent boys.

After being subjected to an hour of unprincipled debauchery with so many depraved gay men, Shep that poor impressionable boy has to be irreparably scarred for life. What if he inadvertently gets infected by the gay bug dammit? What if he buys a pink feather boa and takes up interior decorating?

Then again if he turned gay ( though I seriously doubt it ), I'd probably hit on him in two years. :P

Or even worse after a fit of gay panic, our straight Shep develops passionate homophobic rage with repeated exposure to such deviant influences - morphing into a rabid fag-hater mouthing rap words such as 'though I can freak, fly, flow, fuck up a faggot / I ain't down with gays, I don't understand their ways'.

So before either disastrous eventuality happens, I believe we should all chip in to safeguard the boy's innate sense of heterosexuality. Hell, we need some cute, hopelessly straight boys around after all! Who else are we gonna lust thanklessly for?


Umm... but that's not what I ordered!
Which explains Operation Straight Shep!

And what better way to restore his manhood than to get him a whore. Now conservative creatures, don't faint on me... I mean, it's a time-honoured tradition, right? Of course we wouldn't get him some pox-riddled street tramp from the grimy backstreets of the inner city so we'd need to hire some upper class courtesan types ( hopefully with safer sexual habits and regular medical exams ).

A nice, sentimental yet big-hearted ( amongst other big attributes ) gal who'll show him the way to... heterosexual righteousness.

Care to name a few?